Beyond Hope Sets Run of the Day!
Run # 559 February 17, 1997
Hare: Beyond Hope
Hashit:: Oozing Syphillitic Dick-ta-Phone
by Snot
It was a cold evening just off Warren Avenue in the a school car park, with attendees including Hopeless (Hare), Basket Boom Boom, Async, Deep Throat, Oozing Syph and yours truly. The off was on time at 6.30pm with the first circuit being a circle jerk round a play area with Deep Throat moaning she was unfit and hadn’t had a five miler for a few weeks. The orange markings were clear this week and very soon we were into woods. Basket very soon was carving his own trail as always but was fast approaching the pack having taken the wrong direction further up.
The checks were cunning and your scribe soon found himself at the back occasionally coming across Deep Throat. Your scribe was actually a FRB for a few hundred meters before taking the wrong direction off the check to find myself on top of a quarry of sorts with Hopeless shouting to get back, as the ground below me was hollowed out, not wishing to out do Rusty’s flying leap of some weeks ago I retraced my steps and found myself at the back again. The local plod soon sprung into action upon hearing complaints that someone had strangled a cat which actually was Basket blowing his bugle and straying onto private property. For the local police with nothing better to do, and OJ still not having shot himself, this complaint was turned into a full scale murder inquiry with police searching for someone with small strong hands not liking pussy, Deep Throat was questioned but it was later established that she was rather fond of her pussy, but other runners were suspected of wanting to F*** pussy, all other suspects convinced plod they preferred a live pussy, however all male runners were keen to find this female with small hands in order that their dicks would appear larger. Basket convinced the officers he preferred dogs and sheep and Oozing Syph only wanted a cat shaped phone he could stick his finger in or talk to.
The trail led us to uncharted territory which took us through what could only be described as high grass field which had a path cut through it accompanied by some cold wet shiggy, the run being a very clever A to B ended alongside a road with blue and red lights still looking for the Rhode Island strangler. It was decided to drive back to the start in case we were charged with under age drinking. The circle was formed and before the run could be rated the Hashshit was awarded to Oozing Syph for bragging it was too easy and he was at the front too often, a down down was had with head gear, and was never completed at the on-on. Badges were given out and each had been personalized except Async’s who could only be given a blank, as his wife had told Basket he was only good for blanks. The run was rated at 5.7 which is the highest mark all year and deserved the down down. Basket was given a down down for confessing to the murder of the cat but no charges could be brought as the police could not plant any evidence. The on on was supposed to be a Thai restaurant which closed once Hopeless inquired if they were open on Mondays, the alternative was Chinese take away consumed at a local watering hole, grog was Guinness and the food was OK. Oozing Syph brought a colleague to observe this interesting group of nutters, but he consumed his coca cola and departed with a smile, never to be seen again. Good fun had by all. On-On
Snot (41st Run in RI)