Skiing Without Snow!

Run # 560 February 24, 1997

Hare: Async

Hashit:: Rusty

by  Rusty

Pulaski Memorial Park, Glocester on the RI/CT border

The pack consisted of Basket, Ooooozzzing Syph, Beyond Hope and Rusty. The Hare was Async. Due to the tardiness of Snot, your regular Scribe, this unbiased Hash Trash is being written by Rusty.

My journey began in Newport at 5:30, it gave me an hour to find the pack. This wouldn’t have been a problem except that the last 16 miles were on a 25/35 mph road. Anyway, with cold nervous sweat running down the back of my neck and into the crack in my wallet, I found the pack of four huddled in some bushes muttering tales of past runs. I was greeted with “What da fuck are you doing all the way up here” little did I know that things would get worse.

The motley crew had been briefed and the hare was going to run with the pack accompanied by a six pack on his back. Basket was on true trail immediately, his tell tale flashing red lights (located on his derriere) were a beacon of hope on some occasions. Quick as a flash we were in the woods, The Hopeless one sought out the flour whereas Uuuuzie was looking skyward and admiring the starry starry nite. The first check had us spread out as far as 4 hounds can spread out, eventually Hopeless got us back on trail. This was potentially the first opportunity to legitimately whine on this fair night, but Async was having none of it. Across the foot bridge brought us from RI to CT without a toll (obviously a loophole that the RI Politicians have not closed). Basket had taken to the high ground because of his familiarity with the area, it later transpired that this was complete and utter bullshit.

By this time the pack had split, Oozie was trying to find a payphone, Async was trying to find trail and Basket said lets go to the covered bridge as he will probably do the beer stop there. And so it was, the beer was warm, ten years old and came in twist off tops (more whining). We all agreed that second helpings of same would go to improve the average rating this run would receive, however the Hare was not impressed with our invitation to the Lincoln (RI) bedroom and refused our bribe. More whining followed and then we moved on in search of Beer Stop #2 which was also the end of the run. The beer was carefully concealed in a trash can that had the hallmarks of also being the local piss house for the rabid dogs of the area. Nonetheless we consumed the brew and began more whining. Most memorable down-down went to Basket for imitating a fish out of water when he dribbled the suds down his front. Hash Shit went to Rusty and since Rusty is writing this trash I can truthfully say, Up yours….See ya soon! The On-On was at an establishment that was closing for renovations as soon as we finished our beers, Pool is free there on Monday nights and the clientele.…well they were all pissed as newts. The combined IQ was somewhere in the 69 range or was that the channel they were watching on TV

Rusty

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