Flour Deficit Strikes RIH3
Run # 564 March 24, 1997
Hare: Dawg Phart & Justin
Hashit:: Basket Boom Boom
by Rusty
When: 24th Mar 1997….Where: Duval Sq. Providence…Who: Dog Phart + Justin…Why: God only knows
The pack consisted of One of the Hares (Dog Phart) and the motley hounds were Flaccid Member, Basket Can’t sing for shit Boom Boom, Uzie, Async and Rusty. I knew the directions sucked when the sign read exit here for Downtown and the following exit read Hartford CT. Downtown it would be, after zooming up and down Eddy St like a lunatic I was as lost as the pack was going to be for the remainder of this fair Mun Da(n)e evening.
At Waterpark Place, I enquired of a suit as to the whereabouts of said Sq, his directions were good but he forgot to tell me to turn left after 2 miles. The next brain told me to head back the direction I came for about 4 or 9 sets of stop lights, I gestured my disgust at the Guy and zoomed off again. Suddenly as if by chance or my map I found the start. I recognized the cars in the dim light but no sign of the pack. It was 6:45pm and the bastards had left, I was beginning to feel that they didn’t want me.
The directions posted on the WWW said take the Allens Ave exit, there could have been Hashers flying in from all around the world but it wouldn’t have mattered…….The Allens Ave Exit only exists on Basket's 1869 map of RI and then you needed a boat to take the exit. Anyway, I sprang from my car and ran about a 100’ and got a cramp, yelling with pain I continued, found a X on the far side of the bridge and found jackshit across the Street (despite the fact that there was at least 10lbs of flour).
Hark, the sound of Fire Engines and Rescue Wagons but no hashers, the Merit Gas Station was my next and almost last check. Each of the three options was checked at least twice, however, I had missed the briefing at the start of the run which said that the flour is spaced at quarter mile intervals ! Eventually, I got back on trail heading towards downtown, I was now out 30 mins and could neither hear an On-On nor the sound of the horn. I lost trail again and kept going around in circles, I was fearful of being arrested as I kept seeing the same pedestrians and they were beginning to wonder what the hell I was up to. At Waterplace Pk, I heard what sounded like an On-On in the area of College Hill. A swift run up same was a bad idea, but there they were in the hazy distance, THE PACK of 5…..I had made it. However when I caught up with them I was greeted with “Have you seen any flour”. My ecstasy was shortlived, I had expected better of the pack. Basket was confident that we should head to Muldoons, Async said wherever the Hare is going they have Guinness on Tap, Flaccid said it’s not on Wickendon and Oop Doon the Roo Add Uzie stuck with the Hare and therefore knew where he was going.
The pack of four went up and down the hill like Jack and Jill never did, Flaccid disappeared without a sound which led to a certain uneasiness with the remaining tree, suddenly Async said “Enough” let’s go back to the cars and go for a beer. A swift regrouping saw us annoy the hell out of Don the barman who can now do a shamrock on a Guinness. The Hare scored about 0.000069 for the run and the Hashit duely went to Basket for his (yet again) incredible directions. Is it possible that Friar Fuck(Boston) and Basket attended the same Geography class ? After consuming a side of chicken each we pissed off into the Sunset in anticipation that the Comet might strike Northern RI and therefore put an end to runs like this.
An unbiased opinion……..by Rusty Newport H3 Web Page is at http://members.aol.com/newporth3/onon.htm