The Providence City Run
Run # 571 May 12, 1997
Hare: Oozing
Hashit:: Oozing
by Snot
This run was Oozing Syphyllitic Dick To Phone’s first run as hare. The turn out included Basket Boom Boom and yours truly, which if my mathematics serves me is three. We were all issued shirts for this run, by the way if any of you missing bastards want one, Oozing told me to tell you its going to cost! Your scribe felt at quite a disadvantage against these two gazelles, but as you will read brain outwits brawn again.
The run set off from a downtown city park and I would just like to say at this juncture what good directions we had. After waiting a few minutes for any latecomers we set off up hill which was the theme of this run, “Up and Up the road” Your scribe decided that it was time to match Async’s previous record of going up eighteen falsies. Very quickly, I was at the back in my normal position after taking the very first two false trails. Every single bloody check went up hill! With the run soon taking us to the top of Hope and Thayer, Basket seemed to tie in to every lone jogger which in both cases were female, the second one however had very little up top and I am not talking about brains readers. Nothing to hang onto whilst scratching your head if you get my drift. But this did not deter Basket who can detect pussy from 69 paces.
The Brown fraternities were quite perplexed at the site of three runners going down the heart of this university district blowing whistles and making farting noises out of a horn, with questions of “What are you doing?” Hey guys, if this is your bright future, the future is not looking too bright in America, unless we bumped into all the ‘E’ grade students all one time.
It was at this point your scribe struck out. Basket had gone right at the check. I continued straight on. For some obscure reason ,we did not run through the female campussy, but sensing the first beer stop was near I peeled off in the direction of the pubs and stumbled across flour marks and could not believe my luck when they led to a bar. I was of course first there by far and this lucky intelligent short cut had me drinking the amber nectar long before the two gazelles showed. In fact I went back outside this drinking establishment to double check I was in the right place, shortly thereafter the shouts whistles and farts of the RIH3 were heard outside, Basket and Oozing were convinced I was lost, they were quite surprised to see me at the bar supping ale-Suckers!
The beer stop was a welcome stop from the concrete pound. Soon after the downing of a pitcher the band of three were off on the on in. A new first for the RIH3 was to take place this fine evening, as we came across a TOBY refreshment area but some of us recognize as TCBY (The Country’s Best Yogurt). Without hesitation your scribe was convinced the flour marks went inside this establishment, once inside we were compelled to buy three vanilla yogurts. This time people thought it most strange that three runners dressed in similar attire would run up and down the road whilst consuming yogurt! History in the making, I told you guys my handle should have been Mr. Ice-cream. The trail from this point was fairly straight forward with the checks getting more obvious, with your scribe now starting to outrun Basket now that the yogurt was kicking into the muscles, my shortcutting paid off yet again as the other two slow bastards caught up to me by the vehicles.
The circle up was held in what used to be a shelter with new trainers celebration completed by the GM and Basket Marks for the run was 6.9x 10-7 due to the absence of shiggy. The on-on was back at Oozings house where Sartre was the delicacy of the day followed by ice-cream rinsed down with some fine ale, a fine run missed by many. Good job Oozing, who also collected the Hashshit award again! On-On
Snot (47th Run in RI)