Async Strikes Again!

Run # 574 June 2, 1997

Hare: Async

Hashit:: Oozing

by  Snot

The directions for this run being far more precise than last weeks run, however I have to say you were 0.5 miles out on one of your co-ordinates, however this is far better than getting the name of the place wrong! Unlike some Hashers we could mention whose handle begins with B. [You limey! We use miles in the States, not kilometers! -- Async]

The setting was on the western side of Rhode Island at Durfee Management Area, in Glocester where we have previously run before but the territory is so varied it is difficult to recall which way is right. Attendees included Basket Boom Boom, Beyond Hope, Shine on Harvard Moon (Boston), Bondo Jovi, Jake, Oozing Syph, yours truly and of course our hare Async.

For once I had a bit of luck and was not tailgating for a change. By arriving a few minutes late your scribe picked up on the first falsie and was immediately leading the pack with Shitbag, I mean of course Oozing Syph, maybe we could call him Shitbag Oozing Syph? As he is always the dickhead wearing it, he almost owns it! Anyway back to the run Oozing and I were burning miles leading the way shouting ON-ON, UP DOWN THE ROAD, that is until we got to a clearing which scattered the pack, with no marks in site everybody was all over the place even Jake was chasing his own backside not knowing whether to fart, bark or crap. A cunning check where the Hare gave no clues, just standing shouting where the f*** are you going, or did he? As our one and only Bimbo apparently found the trail after some five minutes, the hare finally gave the call of ON-ON, wherby everyone cascaded back from two states. I of course had to negotiate my way down a rock face, I only wish the Hare would be more considerate to leave a rope so we could absail down these objects of distraction. As usual I again found myself keeping a rear guard action but finally catching up with our primo shortcutter professing he had run 15 miles around an imaginary lake-I believe you Bondo!

We passed a state marker differentiating between Rhode Island and Connecticut. I felt it was Vermont for the distance we had covered.   [Snot, would you like some cheese with your whine? -- Async]  We eventually came to the beer stop which was at a river crossing which was actually quite refreshing, mosquitoes were biting like bastards, but Basket had the perfect antidote of rubbing mud on himself, Shine On commented on how they bite any little thing and Basket proceeded to cover his weenie and bollocks (A word Basket cannot pronounce) in mud.   Pity Dogmeat breaking her teeth whilst giving a blow job. Jake was by far the brightest as he decided to have a shit which gave all the mosquitoes a better target. Good old Jake, never underestimate a former GM.

Singing orchestrated by non other than Basket Boom Boom, led Shine On to get carried away thinking about Basket's gritty parts. The on back trail was fairly straight forward with Bondo taking a short cut-again! Circle up eventually valued the run as a 1.8x10 to the minus 96, with Hopeless at first being awarded he Hashshit, then Bondo noticed that Oozing was wearing the same shirt for the forth week in a row, alas your GM had no option than to re-award the Hashshit back to Oozing, which he was most grateful for. The on-on was at Cady’s tavern where the Barmaid was also the order taker, cook, server and washer upper. The hamburgers tasted like cardboard and they took over an hour to be burned. This down graded the run another ten points. No incidents going home except Oozing thought he was Damon Hill or the hamburger had caused a palpitation or two.

On-On

Snot (49th Run in RI)

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