Run # 614 March 9, 1998
Hare: Oozing Syphillitic Dick-ta-Phone
by: Basket
Boom Boom
Pack: Basket, Async, Oozing, Dave and Virgins Bruce and Zachary
The Start: Gay Lane on River Drive
The start was “Gay Lane” on River Drive. It was pouring rain,
and Oozing had the misfortune of setting the
hash the day before. Little was left of the yesterday’s tracks, and
the sections re-laid today followed yesterday’s flour down the sewers and
into the Seekonk River.
A small contingent, even for our group, braved the torrential downpour.
Async, Dave, Basket, but Virgins
Bruce and Zachary enlarged the group to 6, and joined the hare for
the wettest hash this year. Async loves
this location. He said the Goosebumps on his penis gives him great
personal enjoyment, and I am sure he enjoyed himself all the way home,
but more on that later.
When we finally decided nobody else would show, the hare pointed us
off into the storm. Across a field, up a hill into the woods we followed
flour, or was it paint on the trees? The hare called us back on trail,
across the field and up a different hill. Not more that a pound of
flour would be seen for the rest of the hash, but that didn’t slow us down.
We’d run full speed in one direction until the hare called us back, then
we would be off in another direction. The rare splotch of flour found
only on the occasional tree, had us relying more of voice commands than
visual direction. We followed him through the woods, and into the
sewer drain now overflowing with “You Know What”.
We eventually made our way up Blackstone Boulevard, with pleas of Beer
Stops at the Stone Outbuilding, the hare continue pointing straight ahead
into the storm. We couldn’t see more that 20 feet in front of us as the
wind blown rain filled the street and storm drains to overflowing.
We eventually hit a falsie into Butler Hospital, and soon thereafter found
beer waiting for us in the woods along Swan Point Cemetery.
As we were enjoying the Murphy’s Stout, thunder from very near lightning
cracked between courses of “Singing in the Rain”, “Please Don’t Take
Me Now Lord”. The virgins must have thought us pretty stupid to be
out in this shit, but what did we think of them? Huh?
The benevolent hare decided the On In should be short and sweet, so
Beer Stop #2 was cancelled. He did offer us a second opportunity
at Roger Williams Memorial, and after declining; we jumped into his car
and drove back to the start. Async was
long gone, by this time, and although we called for him, and waited much
to long in the rain, he was a no show.
When we got back to the cars, Async’s
car was gone, so we drove back to Oozing’s
house for the OnOn. Plenty of Sam Adams Scotch Ale and Murphy’s Stout
complimented the Pakistani Chicken. There was plenty of chicken to
go around, as Oozing prepared enough for all
including Async, who by the way, was probably
choking chicken all the way home. He admitted later to stripping
in the rain down at Gay Point, but not finding anyone to join him, he continued
driving home in the “all together”. The virgins said they would be
back, and we all wondered if Async would taking a scenic drive down River
Drive on his way home from work more often.