Hare: Async
Write-up by: Basket Boom Boom
The Start:
Cady's Tavern - Glocester
The Edgar Allen Poe Hash (1809-1849). Jan 19, 1809.
Born in Boston. January 18, 1999
Rhode Island Hash celebrates EAPoe
Hare: EAPoe played by Async
Players/Hounds: Raven - Jake, Lenore -
Bondo Jovi, Tell Tale Heart - WIPOS,
Annabel Lee - Cheap Licker, the Pit -
the Slut, the Pendulum - Basket
Boom
Boom, Ligeia - Evil Bitch RIPTA,
Worm - Worm
It was a dark and stormy night. Fog covered the highway as I drove
along
Rte 44 toward the old stagecoach stop at Cady's Tavern. The fallen
snow from
the weekend's storm had been thawed and refrozen into a slick river
of shiggy as
rain fell heavily upon the strange orange marks upon the trail, now
disappearing in the night. Fuck me say's the hare…fuck you say's I.
The hounds arrive slowly at first, even cautiously, in concern of life
and
limb. Surely, the Hare had called off the insanity of hashing
in such a
night. "Never," said the Hare, " and don't call me Shirley."
First to
arrive was Bondo. "A saintly soul
floats on the Stygian river;
And, Guy de Vere, hast thou no tear?- weep now or nevermore!
See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!"
Basket then arrived next followed by
the Slut. Wondering why we would be
here on such a night, rain falling now in buckets, what were we thinking?
"In
vain I struggled to realize -- to regain it. Long suffering had nearly
annihilated all my ordinary powers of mind. I was an imbecile -- an
idiot."
We drank a beer, a Sam Smith Imperial Stout, but even it's strength
gave
little resolve to the night ahead. WIPOS
pulled in with Cheap Licker just
behind.
Bondo's horn blew the hound to hash.
"And now have I not told you that
what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the senses? Now,
I say,
there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes
when
enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well too. It was the beating
of the old man's
heart. It increased my fury as the beating of a drum stimulates the
soldier
into courage. But even yet I refrained and kept still.
I scarcely breathed. I held the
lantern motionless."
The flour started across 44 in George Washington Park. Dodging
cars,
crossing the road was dangerous enough, but the trail called us on
ice and coldness
there. Flashlights illuminated the danger here. First to
fall was Cheap
Licker. "It was many and many a year ago,
in a kingdom by the sea, that a
maiden there fell whom you may know by the name of Abigail Licker."
Bondo
joined the fallen as feet above head did fall. "Ah, broken is
the golden
bowl! The spirit flown forever! Let the bell toll!" The hare
must of
thought his deed was done "He shrieked once -- once only. In
an instant I dragged
him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled
gaily, to
find the deed so far done. But for many minutes the heart beat on with
a muffled
sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through
the
wall."
Much flour was lost in river flow, but enough was left to cover trail
towards beer and beyond. We each thought of what cost this hare
must pay for such
a devious trail. "There was an interval of utter insensibility; it
was brief;
for, upon again lapsing into life, there had been no perceptible descent
in
the pendulum. But it might have been long -- for I knew there were
demons
who took note of my swoon, and who could have arrested the vibration
at
pleasure."
Finally, the beer stop amid trees standing tall there a small shack.
A
slight protection against the storm, but enough to enjoy the Sam Adams
Cream
Stout. "Shaking off from my spirit what must have been a dream, I scanned
more
narrowly the real aspect of the building. Its principal feature seemed
to
be that of an excessive antiquity. The discoloration of ages had been
great.
Minute fungi overspread the whole exterior, hanging in a fine tangled
web-work from the eaves. Yet all this was apart from any extraordinary
dilapidation"
I opened the bottle without hesitation. "Down -- steadily down
it crept. I
took a frenzied pleasure in contrasting its downward with its lateral
velocity. To the right -- to the left -- far and wide -- with the shriek
and the plunge of a damned spirit! to my heart, with the stealthy pace
of the
tiger. I alternately laughed and howled, as the one or the other idea
grew
predominant. Down -- certainly, relentlessly down!
It vibrated within three inches
of my bosom! I struggled violently -- furiously -- to free my left
arm.
This was free only from the elbow to the hand. I could reach the latter,
from
the platter beside me, to my mouth, with great effort, but no farther.
Could I
have broken the fastenings above the elbow, I would have seized and
attempted to arrest the pendulum. I might as well have attempted to
arrest an
avalanche! Down -- still unceasingly -- still inevitably
down! I gasped and
struggled at each vibration. I shrunk convulsively at its every sweep.
My eyes
followed its outward or upward whirls with the eagerness of the most
unmeaning
despair; they closed themselves spasmodically at the descent, although
death would
have been a relief, oh, how unspeakable!" Thank god for beer
and hash.
Flashing of lightning shone bright the night air, as rain danced upon
the
wooden wall of shelter there. An occasional thunder burst interrupted
our
singing for but a minute, and then a Bondo
fart prompted us to again join
trail. " 'O God!' half shrieked Ligeia, leaping to her
feet an extending
her arms aloft with a spasmodic movement, as I made an end of these
lines -- 'O
God! O Divine Father! shall these things be undeviatingly so? -- shall
this
Conqueror be not once conquered? Are we not part and parcel in Thee?
Who --
who knoweth the mysteries of the will with its vigor? Man doth not
yield
him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness
of
his feeble will.' And now, as if exhausted with emotion,
she suffered her white arms to
fall, and returned solemnly to her bed of death. And as she breathed
her last
sighs, there came mingled with them a low murmur from her lips."
"Let's get the fuck
out of here," said Cheap.
The end was near when the final beer stop was found behind trees, not
far
from Rte 44. The hare was called into the circle, "The old man's
hour had come!
With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room.
He
shrieked once -- once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor,
and
pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed
so far
done. But for many minutes the heart beat on with a muffled sound."
The
circle was just as quickly finished as rain, falling relentlessly,
drove us
on to the Inn of Cady's. In the warmth of the friendly abode,
was RIPTA. She
claimed she tried, in vain, to find trail, and even showed us wet stocking
as proof. "Mimes, in the form of God on high, Mutter and mumble
low,
And hither and thither fly -- Mere puppets they, who come and
go
At bidding of vast formless things that shift the scenery to and fro,
Flapping from out their Condor wings Invisible Wo!
That motley drama! -- oh, be sure it shall not be forgot!
With its Phantom chased forever more, by a crowd that seize it not,
"
Beer was ordered and food to warm the bellies and fill the sole. Bondo
presented the newly improved RIH3 Hashit, and it was quickly given
to Cheap
as the most deserving and best fitting for such an award. "And now,
as if
exhausted with emotion, she suffered her white arms to fall, and returned
solemnly to her bed of death. And as she breathed her last sighs, there
came mingled with them a low murmur from her lips." "Fuck me",
fuck you,
indeed, the Hashit is yours to enjoy. The conversation
that followed was strange
indeed, and much was thought and spoken until we parted for the night.
"Out -- out are the lights -- out all!
And over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
And the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
And its hero the Conqueror Worm."
We drove home, the storm now ended and none thought more of that fuck,
the
WORM nor PW
nor Bird…nevermore till Betty Ford.
OnOn Basket - with
apologies
to Edgar - Boom Boom