Hare: Oozing Syphilitic Dick-ta-Phone
Write-up by: Basket Boom Boom
The Start:
Diamond Hill State Park
Who was there:
Oozing
Syph (hare), Bondo Jovi, Jake, Buster (GM),
WIPOS,
WIPOS's Bitch-in-heat,
Async, Basket, Little Neck, and Itchy Brother
Who was not there:
Trail Hoover
(Co-hare, had enough of Ooozing the day
before),
Cheap Licker (date with Joe
Mechanic, stood up the hash), and many
other wimps that couldn't take the
cold…What? It's not that cold. It's up to
a balmy 18 degrees F., with a mild
30-knot breeze.
The hare was dressed in a devilishly delicious red
outfit, which fit well to
the theme. An impatient Bondo and his 4 legged
hounds departed early, to make
the grade up the steep trail a lollygag
affair. Soon after the hare gave
directions, and the rest of the pack found
trail along the vacant parking lots
of Diamond Hill Park. A check had the
hounds checking up and down the
vertical cliffs of the old ski area.
Confused at first by the lack of clearly
marked white flour on white granite
rock; the hare called the pack on still
higher.
Bondo was found at the top
calling "On F", and thinking he said "B" we
converged on
his spot only to be found off trail at a false.
Async found trail again and
lost it quickly, but using his inStincks, he
continued straight uphill. The
bulk of the pack followed the trail like
lemings, as once again Oozing
pointed the way. Oozing was by this time
missing his co-hare, and as many of
the pack complained of missing marks, he
explained that; "Trail Hoover
set this part". The devilish hare had us cover
every inch of the old
ski trail network, and eventually we found beer hidden
at a high overlook at
the headwall.
A hellish wind blew straight in our faces, but it didn't deter
our singing and
beer slugging. WIPOS's bitch tried to Butt Fuck our Grand
Master. Not having
a dick didn't deter her from humping Buster. Oozing looked
on jealously as he
remembered Jake's throbbing member up his butt at last
week's hash. Soon
whining began about the fuckin' cold and the pack started
downhill.
We eventually wound up at the start, and circled up to Down-down's
and song.
Oozing drank for the hare's; WIPOS for the Hashit offense of his
bitch fucking
the Grand Master, and the fastest Swing Low in history had us
off to the OnOn.
Guinness and Bass Ale pitchers were quickly placed in front
of us at Grumpy's
and food was quickly devoured before we adjourned to our
homes for the night.
The run was rated a generous 6.9, even though most of
the trail was stolen
from Bondo, on the"Shortest Trail of 98", but
it lacked the spontaneity and
interests (home brew) of a Bondo Hash.