Last RIH3 Xmas Hash of the Millennium

(hare's title:  Basket & Snot set best run since Yr. 0000)
 
Run # 710  December 20, 1999

Hare:   Basket & Snotty

Write-up by:  Snotty

The Start:   North Smithfield
 

The return of the great Snot last week and his nomination of Grand Master lifted back up the quality of runs for the best Hash in the world. The runs had been getting worse the standard of checks had reached toilet level. This run the last before Christmas finally reached new heights and put RI back on the map, the subsidiary Boston Hash could only provide one runner (Trail Hoover) renamed Trail Mix by RI Mother Hash. The others we are told had a party and could not hold their liquor, what a pile of whimps, you Boston girls call yourselves Hashers!

At the start waiting for the off was Async, Beyond Hope, Red Snapper (AKA Furgie), Little Neck, Oozing, Trail Hoover, Bondo, Jake, Ben (New boots) and the inevitable hares Snot and Basket. The run began from Ryan’s place and went into woods with all the front runners catching all the false trails, which were ‘brilliantly’ marked according to the front runners. The quality of the run was marked by early entry into briar – courtesy of Basket.   Hopeless was leading the pack from the very start and has not lost any of his energy. We all noticed he ran faster when Furgie mentioned the ‘V’ word.   Remember Hopeless, they only snip your tubes not cut your balls off.

Over the bridge some more falsies which Async and Oozing fell for but Hopeless was still out there blazing trail. At this point as you would expect Bondo was at the back hoping to pick up some short cuts, Bondo was three parts pissed after hoovering down three pints of 10% Scotch ale prior to the start. With the hares knowing what was to come allowed one short cut for Bondo. Around the pit up through an old works, and into woods with some virgin trail being run, Oozing was the only asshole to run both falsies before getting back on trail. I think Oozing is in training for when he is called up for Pakistan to invade India, or could be so he can be first out of Pakistan when India kick Pakistan’s butt.

On up to the beer with guess who at the back Bondo and Furgie who was explaining to Bondo how fit she was, - NOT.    Strong beer at the mid point with squawks of too easy.   Wankers, they still had no idea how wet they were going to get. Songs finished beer sucked, part two to come, one off the best parts was tunnel under the road which was avoided by all you Wankers except Basket who thought he was chasing Pakistani’s in the Vietnam war. The skinny runt was through like shit through a goose.   We think Furgie gave it a try but could not get both her tits through the opening.

For the only runner from Boston Trail Hoover, ploughed on valiantly, although she had to take twice as many steps due to her short legs, which let her down later.   Async, Oozing and Hopeless still blazing away with Little Neck moaning again just behind Furgie's behind, and Bondo also whining at the back keeping watchful eye on the hares for short cuts which we would have taken if that asshole had not been so slow. Hares ran trail by the side of the river with Bondo moaning, we’re fucked if we have to cross the river it’s too high. Suggestions of a canoe were muted by the hares, with Bondo moaning all the way. Do we have an award for moaning fart of the millennium?

Hares eventually caught slow runners with a tree bridge crossing part of the river with one of Basket's torches (Flashlights for you uneducated bastards) bouncing on the ice, it was seriously cold. But there was more!

Bondo convinced us all he knew this crossing which was the only dry way he said, then went very quiet when he came up to the rivers edge. Async, Hopeless and Oozing were across the 100-foot crossing and very wet, moaning and shouting you fuckin Bastards. What a dilemma for the rest, cars and warm clothes in site or turn back a full two miles.   Bondo being a lazy bastard was not going to turn back, the hares led the way and after chipping off ice from the gonads, encouraged the rest over. Little Neck and Bondo moaning every step of the way with expletives coming out of every orifice.   Furgie thoroughly enjoying herself chose a different way in, which the hares knew from cold experience was deeper.   But Furgie who thought she was Jane in Tarzan, used the vines to swing across the final 4 feet. But the weight of her tits brought the tree down and Furgie ended up tasting river. She emerged from the river with larger nipples than any of the male pricks, which were seriously shrunk.  Last over was Trail Hoover, being guided in by Basket saying the last part was only 4 feet deep, but the quiet thing shouted "fuck you, I am only 5 foot tall, you asshole".

Everyone across safely, everyone was comparing shrinking dicks against Furgie's nipples.  Furgie won no question, who can compete against organ stops, no wonder Hopeless has always got black eyes!

Ice chipped off, back to Basket's for the circle. All the whimps had to have the circle inside, Bondo stark bollock naked, was given a nightie to wear to hide his embarrassment until Furgie’s nipples had gone down. Ratings for the run were the highest since records begun, and down downs were had by joint hares. Infractors were punished in the usual fashion and Bondo was given a transplant of new dick and balls soon to be seen on the web site.   Trail Hoover vowed never ever to run a Rhody hash ever again. She prefers the more girlie runs in Boston.

Santa visited RIH3 with presents for everyone all presents had sexual overtones and the whole pack ended the evening in a mass orgy with everyone getting fucked one way or another.

On-On

Snot (67th Run in RI)

Additional Pictures from On On #710 at Basket's House:

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Bondo & Little Neck competing with Fergie

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Fire Marshall Snot

 

bondo3.jpg (33313 bytes)

The usual fruit

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Wishful Thinking

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Basket Ho Ho

 

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Santa's 'meat

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Is Santa under there?

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On the 12th Day of Ramadan, my true love sent to me.....

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Little Neck greets Santa

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Little Neck's worse side

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What Bondo does in his spare time

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Hopeless is All Ears