Run # 770  February 12, 2001

Hare:   Dr Who Slasher

Write-up by:  Dr. Who Slasher  (substituting for the absent wanker Ooozing.)

The Start:   Tiverton 

The Weather: Clear, 25F

Present: Dr W.H.O.(Hare), Async, Wipos, Bondo, Gaping Festering Hole, Just Brian, Just Sonya. Visiting: Stuff Me (Boston), Just Patrolman (Tiverton P.D.)

 The evening got off to an auspicious start, when at 6:20, the Tiverton Police arrived, to investigate reports of unusual activity in an area usually reserved for young lovers and pedophiles. An open gun battle was narrowly averted by Async, who quickly proclaimed that the group had gathered to indulge in ritual bestiality with the dogs. The Patrolman accepted this and departed with a wistful glance at Bondo's Glow-in-the-dark underwear.

 The beginning of the adventure was punctuated by the discovery that the hare had unwisely chosen pink (for Valentine's Day) flour to mark trail, making his marks almost invisible. His explanation that the marks were designed to mislead the color-blind yet strangely absent Basket Boom-Boom was not accepted by the pack. The check marks in the shape of Valentine Hearts didn't help either. (Although Just Sonya thought they were cute.) It was only the hare's 500,000 candlepower torch that prevented the hash from disbanding in disgust.

 The pack headed east with tortoise-like speed. First downhill, then uphill, and not 200 yards before Async wandered off, in the company of Jake. Finding and losing trail at least 20 times, the bushwacking pack came upon a swamp which had overflowed into an abandoned road. Opting to keep their feet dry and ignoring the medicinal qualities of Tiverton swamp-water, they plunged into briars, unlike any they had ever known, risking sporotrichosis (Rose-picker's disease), tetanus, and coyote attack. The wise hare kept to the road and got his feet wet, knowing the fine insulating qualities of frozen sweat pants.

The next segment came at an abandoned RV campsite, where a prolonged bad trail downhill on packed ice sent many of the pack careening on their posteriors, wishing they had brought their skates. Recovering, they turned south, into the woods, across a field, into more woods, deeper and deeper with great foreboding. Async had rejoined the group, so Wipos promptly got lost, missing the beer stop.

The beer (Warsteiner and Buzzard's Bay West Porter) was enjoyed in a seemly and sedate manner, and the run resumed. The pack plunged down a cliff face to be confronted by the raging waters of the "Sin and Flesh" brook. With Puckish humor, the hare had laid the trail so that the brook was crossed three times. Unfortunately, no one received a Tiverton baptism. Back on a path for the first time, the trail led gradually back to the roads and the cars where Wipos was found, drinking his own antifreeze in lieu of the beer he had missed

 The circle was marked by the mellifluous bass tones of the Hare singing "In Mobile", as well as a generalized scramble to avoid the Hashit. The pack moved on to the Li'l Bear Lounge where pizza and beer were consumed. Async wanked off into the night as usual, Bondo stole pizza crusts to feed his hounds, and Dr.W.H.O. warned his cousin about the dangers of associating with Navy men. All were satisfied, basking in the afterglow of the ideal virgin hash.

 On-on

 Dr. W.H.O. Slasher