Oozing's Bike Hash

 Run # 794 July 23, 2001

Hare:   Oozing

Scribe:  Bondo,  current RIH3 RA.

Where:   Big River Management Area, West Greenwich

The Weather:  80's, Humid

Present: Async, WIPOS, Basket, ShortPeck and latecummer MotherGoose.

Async, I called Bondo and he feels bad about missing the hash and so sent me this in the way of a write-up after I described the run to him and wondered if you,O great WebMeister, would accept this not so subtle in the way of a regret as the official write-up(I don't mind) -- Oozing

The Run:

Well, let me start off by saying that altho' not present at the hash, I feel compelled to write it up after Oozing described the run to me in our weekly session,er...I mean weekly chat.   You see, I thought I was the master bike hasher, but in reality I'm just a verbal master-bater (barely that too at this age, mind you). For you see this run was a classic.  How do I know? Well, I wasn't going to simply take Oozing  (that good for bleep-nuthin Iranian terrorist) [Ed. Note: Evidence of genuine Bondo verbal merchandise] for his word, no, I put him thru the Jake truth test and the faithful ex-GM did not say woof once as Oozing recounted his run.

No, it was nuthin' like my sorry excuse of a bike run a few weeks back( that deterred Dr WHO and Shine On from cumming to this run), for Oozing had them pedal thru 5-6 miles upwards of prime-mountain bike territory i.e., plenty of rocks, bumps, mud and obstacles in the way of roots and rocks, not to mention the perfectly poised checks that had all hashers hit falsies until Async, frustrated, left trail and managed to use his well-honed sniffing skills to make it to the BC. Oh, yes, there was BEER on this run albeit shitty dutch horse-piss but tasty limey-piss at the circle, which just about made up for the former. And for once, Basket attempting to short cut got the better of him, and swallowing hard on his pride, had to retract and follow the well-marked trail.

So well marked, that Mother Goose, returning years later and a good 30 minutes late made it just before the end of the circle and drank her well-deserved down-down. Also doing the honours was the hare and WIPOS, who keeps the sorry bleep excuse of a hashit he dragged to the run! The only comment worth recording is mine and since ya all didn't hear it well...

" This bleep run bleep sucked! Too bleep long, too bleep much like a real bleep mountain bike run and too many bleep falls my bleep arse hurt altho that for some bleep reason it feels bleep good and feeling the bleep seat ram into my bum, ohhhh....er, and the beer really bleep sucked and bleep,bleep,bleep,bleep....."

Given my sorry excuse for not cumming (golfing with workmates...yes, I, not Async, am the true yuppie!) I now relinquish my RA duties for I truly am not worthy...my dogs bark in agreement. Sounds like a good time was had by all and I wish....

 Bondo Jovi,

 former RA, RIH3. (may I redeem myself on my next run!)

P.S: I object to Oozing classifying golf as a sissy game...I mean, what's your point?