Run # 816  December 24, 2001

Hare:  Bondo Jovi

Scribe:  Ooozing Syphilitic Dick-ta-Phone

The Weather:    Sunny, 35

The Run:

The Hare Line told of a 'Surprise Hare', and excited faces were seen on all, as the pack slowly grew along the Banks of the Blackstone River. Shine On, Deep Throat, and Cream Whora, made the long journey down from Bean Town, while visions of Sugar Plum fairies laying flour was on the minds of Groton Hasher Smirf and a virgin brought by PW. The Rhody H3'ers were all nestled in their woollies included PW, the Slasher Dr.WHO, late arrivals Basket Boom Boom, and myself, while the Mismanagement team of Jake, Ben, Baxter and Zoe sniffed each other to see who got the turkey last night.

Bondo announced the 'Surprise' was that he was setting trail LIVE FROM WOONSOCKET! The sound of "Khauffbullshit, Kahbullshit, Kahbullshit" was resounding from all, as the hare ran westward along the riverbank and behind the mill buildings in this small mill village between Rhode Island and Massachusetts. We waited a reasonable amount of time, considering how long the hare would have given someone else, 10 minutes and we were off. We stayed together for safety until we reached the bridge crossing the river, where the pack split into 3 distinct groups. One over the bridge, one straight on to a field, and the third was rounding the roadway behind the buildings. It was here flour was found again, and the pack joined like a heard of lumbering Wildebeest or is that Lemmings, whatever, we made our way out to main crossroads and encountered another check.

Hoping for an interesting trail, maybe off road, was cause for all to be disappointed. True trail went straight, then straight, and finally straight again, until we exhausted our straight options. Then traveling south back towards downtown, where a check brought the pack down an embankment to the tracks. Rail Road tracks tend to go straight, and the theme didn't change much until an arrow brought everyone up the bank and down again on an unmarked falsie.
With total disregard and respect for his fellow hashers, the hare brought us back to roadway and into his neighborhood. A final check and arrow, indicating Beer Near, to the right was ignored by all except for Async and visitors, as we knew the trail could only lead to Bondo's garage and beer.

Circling up inside, as beer was given the not yet warm bodies from the trail, who should appear, but Oozing and Hoover dressed like a Rain Deer. Beak showed up next and the circle was formed.

Bondo was justly abused in return for what he did to us. Visitors, then virgins were likewise treated to their Down-down, and Hashit was passed from Basket to Oozing, to Basket and Oozing once again. It is amazing how this bunch of malcontents can find so little to complain about. The circle finished with an invite from Bondo for all to take his Brewery Tour, and those that have already viewed the largest brewery in Northwest Rhode Island took the leave upstairs for more beer and food.

After enjoying a three-course dinner that did not include chili or Woonsocket Dynamites, Santa arrived to distribute the gifts. The expense that many endured in purchasing these fine examples of hash material, was enough to choke a horse. "Where's the recession? Don't they know money is tight? Hasn't 9/11 taught anyone to be sensible?"

PW was first to get his gift and promptly complained that he hadn't brought anything, and his gift was more than expensive.  One by one all received their gift and each in turn was seen a small tear in the corner of each eye.  Pool playing and darts rounded out the festivities, until each Who in Whoville made their way to their sleighs and home to snuggle in front of warm fires and wonder at the grand event today brought.
 

On On,

Your Humble Servant Oozing Syphilitic Dick-ta-Phone