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Run # 818 January 7, 2002
Hare: Async
CoHare:
Oozing SD
Location: Johnston, just east of Snake Den
The Weather: Light Snow, 30's
Present: Async, Dr W.H.O., WIPOS, Bondo Jovi, Oozing SD, Basket Boom Boom.
Missing: Eager Beaver, Short Peck, PW, Compusex, Shine On, and Tinker (believed to have short cutted to the Snake Den "Fugawi Cliffs" trying to outsmart the hare and get to the BC).
Commemorating: Handsel Monday.
The Run:
Dr WHO, who received instructions from the hare before he set off to lay trail. Next came WIPOS, Bondo, Oozing and before 6:30(!) Basket. With little fanfare, the dogs were loosed and they were off, north on the driveway for the Greater Rhode Island Baptist Temple.The hare gave clear and specific d'erections to the start of the run. It was to be a live-hare hash. The promised storm could barely be called a dusting, and the temperature was moderate. In spite of these ominous signs, the loyal membership of the RIH3 arrived singly and promptly led by the ever-punctual
The road was clear at first. After passing the Temple itself, paralleling Rt. 295, a light covering of snow was encountered and the flour stopped, to be replaced for the most part by footprints. The trail led to a field covered with pockets of standing water, the sad result of a septic system accident after a particularly moving revival meeting at the Baptist Temple. Negotiating these water hazards was no problem, and the group spread out over the field trying to find the true trail. Occasional marks of whitish orange could be seen by all except for the visually challenged
Basket but the best sign of the hare's passage was still the footprints. Unfortunately it was discovered that when everyone spreads out over a field looking for footprints in the snow, the result is: an awful lot of footprints. This led to several hound-created circle-jerks that would have heartily satisfied the hare, had he witnessed the scene.The circle was joined, and the run rated.
Bondo gave a charitable 5F, Dr WHO gave a 6.9 because of Basket's falling for the false arrow, Basket gave 6.9 because of Dr WHO falling for the arrow first, WIPOS stated: "I didn't even need my gear!", and Oozing complained of dry feet aggravating his chilblains. Overall: 6.69. The hare did his down down and started "The End of the Month". Next, hashit. Bondo Jovi had thoughtfully provided a new hashit: an unwashed sweat sock he had stolen off a homeless man lying in a drunken stupor in a puddle of urine in Woonsocket (the local Selectman). But the standard hashit was there also, and nominations progressed. The obvious choice was initially settled upon, but after drinking he started singing the dread German song again, and he had to be given a whiff of Zyklon-B from a canister that the quick-thinking Oozing was carrying. WIPOS was considered, but eventually PW was settled upon, for deserting his hash spouse and whining on the web site. Enema Bill will hold the hashit for him. No one left to insult, initiate or irritate, and they swung low, and the hare went off to get some water to douse the flames.After freezing his hands and creating a smoke signal sure to catch the attention of any spy satellites, the hare led the group south-southeast at a run back to the cars. Those in front showed their appreciation for
Oozing's sense of humor by placing false arrows every 40 or 50 yards. The north side of the Temple ground was crossed for the sole purpose of fording the mighty Assapumset Brook (which the hare very well could have started the trail with when the group was in the mood for it thank you very much). Someone had foiled the hare's scheme however as the remnants of a rickety Massage table labeled "CCRI: Reject" formed a makeshift bridge over the raging waters. Thanking their unknown benefactor, all crossed safely except Oozing who felt the need to ease his aching feet and plunged on through. The group met at the cars. The On On On was to be at the redoubtable Swampy's, and all made ready to meet.Swampy's
, known worldwide for its cuisine and ambience proved a bit of a disappointment. The group started off with pickled eggs and asked for Bass Ale. A 2/3 full pitcher was provided with the announcement that they were out of Bass. "No problem," said the resourceful hashers. "We'll have Murphy's Stout." The Murphy's was brought out and food was ordered. At first it was thought that the pickled eggs had distorted their palates, but after a few sips it was realized that the Murphy's had been watered down with Pascoag water containing methyl ter-butyl ether and was undrinkable. "We'll settle for the Red Hook," they said. It was gone. "Well, what is left?" The waitress said: "Hey, I'm just filling in." and went to check. Bud, Bud Light and Amber Bock were the choices. Oh, the angst! The pseudo-Bock was ordered sadly, but the mood was somber as Async and Bondo passionately discussed the Monday Night Football game, and WIPOS flirted with a married 64 year old football groupie at the other end of the bar. Oozing called for switching the TV to the Test Matches loudly until it was threatened to unmask him as Osama Bin Laden's long lost brother. Dr WHO and Basket looked deep into their beers, fearing what they saw around them. The evening ended however, on the happy thought that football season is almost over, and that the weather is sure to get worse at some point, ensuring at least a few Mondays with shiggy trails and raucous barroom behavior before the warm weather returns and ruins it all.On On
The Slasher Dr. W.H.O.