Robbie Burns Hash - The Highland Hills are Alive with Haggis

Run # 821  January 28, 2002

Hare:  Basket Boom Boom

Scribe:  EverReady Eager Beaver 69

Location: Mapleville

The Weather:    50's, Clear.

The Run:

The haggis was placed in the crock pot at the home of Basket & Dog Meat at 1 p.m., just to ensure the meat was fully cooked and fully mushy.  The celebration started right on time at 6 p.m. at their home where Basket and Baxter were waiting for the RIH3ers.  Oozing and Basket had started with whiskey when Ever Ready Eager Beaver 69 and CompuSex arrived wearing of the kilts.  Dr. Who arrived with the Scottish cap but without women's clothes wrapped around his waist, Basket was quick to accommodate with clothing and whiskey. When WIPOS walked in, he yelled, kicked, screamed and had an out and out temper tantrum that the only kilt left was 3 sizes too big for him to actually run in.  We didn't know if he was going to stop crying and whining when there was a knock at the door...a visitor from Baahston, Kneeling Room Only.

Ever Ready Eager Beaver 69 has been flirting with the local hash chapters and promoting the RIH3 and she had even passed out d'erections in her travels. Scotch was drunk, with Scottish, Polish, Italian, and even Pakistani toasts as Oozing read from the poetry of the beloved Robbie Burns. At this point, everyone stopped listening to him and Basket and ran out the door of the house to the starting point.  Ever Ready was chosen to drive, without directions and the smell of haggis on her mind, we all got lost, good thing Baxter was around to find us and when we actually found the start of the hash (not a hash mark, mind you), there was another visitor!  Funky Diva was breathlessly awaiting the RIH3ers!

As we all looked high and looked low for Async and PW, we heard Basket drive up behind us.  He claimed he was looking for the carload that Ever Ready was driving but we know he was, should we say, consoling himself in his car because once again, no PW!  

The run was nearly impossible (impassable), no hash marks, plenty of briar patches, shiggy and water crossings.  The first beer check was in front of an old battalion (according to Basket) there was a hasher at this beer check (was it Robbie Burns) and we had lost Funky Diva.  We yelled, hollered RU????  We drank, we yelled, we sang, but no Funky Diva.  We continued on........up, up, and up to the Highlander Hills.  At the top of the Highlander, we found WIPOS meditating on a rock, we found spirits in the woods, but of Robbie Burns not the correct type of spirits because we did not find any beer!  Finally, after much whining and crying, Basket arrived with beer and song.  All of a sudden, the dogs started barking, everyone turns around to listen to the sounds in the dark woods, the full moon above us...what is it?  Who is it??  It is Funky Diva!!

The last part of this hash was as the beginning, no hash marks, many briars, much shiggy and too much water crossings.  The weather was turning cold and the moon was bright.  (Ever Ready's arse was wet and cold)

The On In was filled with haggis, the meat filled stomach, and potatoes - and thank you Dog Meat for pork (the other white meat).  The run was rated at +6.9 by all, Bondo slipped 1F in the rating but was upset at the sight of a favorite beer mug and has declared war on the home of Basket & DogMeat, the BH3ers have never experienced this type of trail on Beacon Street or Comm Ave and were very appreciative.  Funky Diva was wrapped in a homemade kilt and was re-named Compost/Compass by the RIH3 and more scotch was consumed.  Oozing continued to read Robbie Burns poetry, Basket continued to sing, the dogs continued to bother DogMeat and her pussy cats and then everyone had to return to their bunk beds, for it was very late for a Monday Evening of the RIH3.....

On On

Ever Ready Special Edition Eager Beaver 69