Patti Hearst Symbionese Liberation Army Hash

Run # 822 February 4, 2002

Hare:  Short Peck and his lackey, Basket Boom Boom

Scribe:  Async

Location: North Smithfield

The Weather:   20's, colder than the Kashmir

The Run:

This trail clearly had more creative input from Short Peck than Basket.    It was a halfway decent trail !    We enjoyed some gelatinous mud shiggy, an icy  stream crossing, spooky gravel pits, and a beer check straight out of Deliverance (can you squeal like a pig?)

The usual miscreants gathered in the shadow of a huge cell tower in North Smithfield.    Async was the first to arrive, followed shortly thereafter by Jake and Ben.    The two members of the RIH3 management team had tied up Bondo in the back of the car.   Jake and Ben wisely gave Bondo a pacifier (i.e., wet cigar) to keep him satisfied for the ride to the start.

The Oozing One arrived next and parked within door dinging distance of Jake and Ben's car.    Basket arrived an unbelievable 10 minutes early.   Dog Meat must have thrown him out on his bony ass again.

The four intrepid hashers set out on the dark cold trail into the slime pit east of Route 7.    To the accompaniment of Basket's evil cackles, the pack slipped and slided thru the icy mud jello of the slime pit.   On down a wide dirt path, the pack encountered a large flour arrow pointing left uphill.   It was at this point, that Oozing, using his considerable powers of shrink-persuasion, convinced Async to continue straight ahead in an attempt to short-cut the trail.    Basket and Bondo, preferring some quality time alone together, ran uphill into the night.

Async and the Oozing One soon came across an on-in trail arrow, near a nasty water crossing.   Continuing thru the gravel pit, the Swede and the Pakistani vainly tried to navigate thru the Mad Max landscape of mud, sand hills and industrial debris.     Hearing distant horns from a nearby ridge, they tried to rejoin the pack.     The intrepid duo ran cross country toward Greenville Avenue, with RIH3 Management team member Ben leading the way.

Meanwhile, Basket and Bondo arrived at the beer check near a makeshift lean-to deep in the woods of North Smithfield.       As they stood in the dark, to the distant strains of dueling banjos,  shivering and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, Basket and Bondo spied a distant headlamp slowly approaching.  It was none other than the Worm Infested Piece Of Shit!    WIPOS had arrived about 6:35 pm at the start, and lumbered along the trail to the beer check by himself.

Async, Oozing, and Ben, trying to intercept trail on the other side of the gravel pits, ran about a mile north on Greenville Avenue.   As they ran along the street, Oozing displayed an unfortunate tendency towards stepping out in front of traffic.    Async and Ben did their best to restrain the suicidal shrink (he's been depressed ever since he got behind on his run scribing duties).     Once back in more familiar shiggy surroundings, our Paki terrorist felt re-invigorated and bounded off back to the cars.    Async and Ben arrived back at the cars, just as Oozing broke into Basket's car to grab the cooler of Bondo Brew.

While waiting for the pack to return,  Ben and Async swilled Bondo brew at the base of the cell tower and threw sticks for Oozing to retrieve.   Finally, after about half an hour,  Bondo, Basket and WIPOS showed up back at the cars, walking bow-legged with dopey grins on their faces.   After a brief circle, the shivering pack repaired to Chez Parenti's for Guinness and victuals.

At Parenti's, we were waited upon by a lovely (very young) waitress.    She was clearly amused by the smelly old men in the corner booth and their laughable attempts at flirtation.

All in all, an outstanding Short Peck trail.    Now, if we can just get him to teach his old man a thing or two.....

On On

Async