The Rhode Island Hash House Harriers AGM

Run # 823 February 11, 2002

Hare:  Bondo Jovi

Scribe:  Tinker

Location: Woonsocket

The Weather:   30's, breezy, dark

The Run:

The start for this most auspicious occasion just happens to be the elegant, yet not ostentatious, residence of today’s hare Bondo Jovi. Famed around the world for his lackluster trails but superb On On’s, Bondo evidently decided to show, those quick to judge, a trail to live forever in song and story around hash campfires.  The hashers started arriving around 6 PM, and the Bondo Beer Engine was chugging along swimmingly.

The Rhode Island contingent included Async, Oozing, Slasher Dr. WHO, WIPOS, Basket, Ever Ready, Face Douche, Dawg Phart, Red Snapper, Beyond Hope, Tinker, Short Shorts, Bill the Beak, Anal, Turtle Dust, Itchy Brother, Lilac Roadrunner, and new father of twin girls Little Neck. Some of these faces were hard to recognize as the hard life away from the hash has taken its toll.

Visitors from Boston, Hardfart, Newport and all the way from Philly and Westchester were more than we have time to cover here, but notable antics during the hash would indicate the guilty.

At 6:30 sharp, the horn was sounded, the beer engine was disengaged, and hashers assembled for the chalk talk. Bondo explained to the visitors the simplicity of Rhode Island markings, questions were accepted, and finding all knowledgeable, the hare pointed of off in the direction of the mighty Blackstone River. Traveling east by southeast along Meadow Road, we crossed Harris Ave. and entered Cold Spring Park. The hare had set many a lame trail through here, and no one expected what would happen next. A boat would ferry us across the river, in a floating beer stop not a quarter mile from the start. The boats were Indonesian long boats, paddled by 8 naked, from the waist up, beautify bronzed beauties. Bondo Beer was everywhere along with munches of spicy hot finger food.

We arrived upstream at a the rail road bridge, and exited here, then followed flour up over the track and up hill into Blackstone Ma.  The trail followed an old trolley bed, to a water tower and along a high rock cliff overlooking Woonsocket below. It was a beautiful sight. With magnificent turn of the century homes, perfectly maintained with wonderful landscaping terraces. We mounted the crest of the hill, which brought us down to river’s edge at the mighty Blackstone River Gorge. This might river powered many mills during the heyday of the great city, and the refurbished buildings, that lined this section of the river, told of many early successes during the Industrial Revolution.

We continued downstream to the old Tupperware Mill, and found more beer and beautiful bronzed beauties serving our every whim. Many songs were song, as the stragglers managed to pull themselves way from the scenic overlook, and make their way to beer top number 2.

The horn sounded once again, and we made our way down hill to the railroad tracks, where an antique Pullman car idling. Its steam engines had been heard over the hill, but none expected it waiting there for us. Bondo had outdone himself again. A keg of beer, a warm coal stove, and the bronzed beauties serving us, what more could a hash ask for?

The train took us back to the Harris Avenue Bridge, and it was a short jog back to Bondo’s house, where the garage was decorated with past memorials from AGM’s past. Pictures of Sparks and Moon hung side by side the photos of the Block Island Hash, the Prudence Island Hash, the George Washington Park hashes, the Ninigret and Burlingame Park Hash, and many of the Point Judith to Westerly Relay Hash. There were many old political posters also, including Bondo for GM, Bondo for Hash Cash, Bondo for Religious Advisor, and Bondo for Trail Master. Oh, those were the glory days of the Rhode Island Hash.

We settled down for some serious drinking and of course the elections for the new Hash Mismanagement Team. WIPOS, who was nominate acting GM at last weeks hash presided over the proceedings. There were a few surprises, as Dawg Phart and Little Neck threw their hats in the ring for GM, and many of the regulars were loudly supporting their candidacy for the open positions.

Speeches lasted well into the night, as Woonsocket Dynamites and Bondo Chili were wolfishly devoured.

The final count was not complete as of this writing, but exit polls indicate that, sadly, Oozing was not to be named GM, as his numbers were far below the leaders. Bondo, Dr. WHO, Async were slightly behind Shine On, who surprisingly gathered much needed support at the last minute from the horny old timers, and the past mismanagement team of Jake, Ben and Baxter. An update of the final results should be out by Monday evening.