April Fools 2002

Hey Async, an old friend sent this write up to have it posted so I'm forwarding it. He's a little shy. And if you're wondering why I'm up so late, I just got back from a late footie game,and not checking out porn on the net altho maybe later......... ooze

Hash: April Fools 2002

Hare: DrWHO, a right old fool

Where: Attelboro, not far enough as Basket still made it( I still love him)

Scribe: yes, you guessed it right! MrsEnemaBill aka PW

Temp: low 50s with a stiff breeze

Present: Basket aka my sweet EnemaBill. The others I didn't care much about! Oh okay Basket, I'll be good but stop pinching me! The others were that misfit gutter mouth therapist wannabe; the oh so warmly clothed I sweat just looking at you; that paki terrorist thinks he's an md but yes he's quite empty; the 2nd timer bimbo doc kissing up to the old fool doc and lovely Baxter, Ben and dependable Jake. Somewhere in the vicinity as their presence was felt: the SoCal yuppie who would much rather worship at close by LaSalette but in fact fondle young boys bums and pretend to be homophobic i.e. catholic priest wannabe; our own grandmatress, now bitterly scorned since she no longer is raging queen, deciding to drive onwards to her new home Bahstan. Heh heh, I dug those tunnels baby the city is history! Nowhere to be seen: Limpity crachety old man fond of eastern women sticking it to one with his new acquired crutch; the raging budweiser cow piss loving Yankee from Connecticut and his smurfy musketeer; and that honky you stay away from Enema Bill y'hear? otherwise I'll Big Dig right thru your fish and chips and warm beer loving arse you can't even hold a cricket bat right...

The Run:

Well, thank Allah Oozing is'nt doing this write up otherwise we would only get to hear about him!! The pack gathered at the starting point and after some foolish d'erections were off under 95 heading nor'westwards. Oozing took the lead and easily negotiated the first few checks and hailed the pack on as they ran off the road and southwards into the woods skirting 95 for about a mile. Oozing kept the lead.

Soon, Oozing's light started to fail, but his jungle training served him well as he continued to negotiate the trail with the help of Allah, and the moon and starry sky. Oozing gracefully kept the lead like a gazelle. The trail was a tricky one, with wet points here and there but that Oozing, my what a fine athlete is he! Oops, before EnemaBill gets jealous.

Talking about the old marine, all that VeitNamese mud that was blown up his arse from stepping on too many landmines (he's blind you see, that's why he's always lost and in fact gets lost on trail round about now), well its finally caught up with him. A real doctor has declared he needs a colonoscopy. My nightly colonoscopies have only aggravated the whole situation. No wonder he's been cranky lately! Maybe I should dump him for Bondo, I've noticed how the bodhisattva eyes me sideways whenever uttering the word FUCK! He better be careful, he's going to get a right old torticollis (the foolish doc taught me that one!). Apart from Oozing, well nothing really of interest to comment upon. Hey! Wait a minute! No wonder Oozing keeps going on about himself...otherwise I might as well dictate something off C-SPAN instead! No really, the trail meandered in the woods parallel to 95.

The pack soon lost Basket (oh my sweet! Where for art thou?). Bondo attempted to take advantage of me by luring me onto a false trail but I was saved by the bunch of fools, hare included, who all fell for the trap. In his heyday, Bondo would have taken us all on but these days he barely satisfies the octogenarian Jake! Back on trail and a circle back and the lost two catch up with us, thru more shiggy, across a couple of roads thru the Attleboro landfill and a several miles later to the beer check just outside Quincy! Aye, the trail was that long.

Beer was consumed on a little hill. The damsel commented on her wetness in the presence of so many men. Little did she know there wasn't a straight man in sight! The pack waited for the police to show, but this didn't materialize, so they headed out down the hill, crossing two streams with the lady screaming in delight yet again! Thru more trail and eventually back onto the road and to our cars. The circle was held in clear view of all neighbors and much beer and drinking and debauchery followed with only the tired Jake abstaining, YET still no cops!  It was later revealed that they were occupied elsewhere. Some shining lady looking like the moon was driving from the town of NoDick when in a haze of smoke she drove off the highway.  Upon arriving, the police soon were inexplicably and uncontrollably laughing as they inhaled that smoke, and soon were engaged in a gang bang. The said lady drove off, upset she wasn't involved in the sexual escapades of the men in quite sticky blue.

The ON IN was a lovely smokeless (hear that Async?) joint called WeatherLanes. Most of the old wanks went home, but the rest of us went to the bar, enjoyed the food and the complimentary lapdances from the waitresses. They then treated us to back massages and full body lathering with left over salad dressing....A good time had by all, and the hash was as good as any I have set!!

PW (i'm baack!).