Flaming Queen Come Out of Closet Hash

Run: #841
June 10, 2002
Hare: aSphincter
Location: Johnston, RI
Scribe: Flaming Queen
Weather: Poor (sunny, low 70s)
Present:  Bondo Jovi, Async, Basket, WIPOS, Oozing, EveReady, KNO, Dr Who, PW
Visitors: Kristen (transplant from Portand, OR H3), LOAF (Cleveland H3)

The Run:

Sad but true. I've been trying to come out for some time now, and I've finally pulled my balls up, hoisted my skirt, and I'm going to do it. Rhode Island has been my salvation. I've been hiding behind my father's skirt for too long. Bondo, you are such a huge example for the rest of us, that I will be forever grateful.

I wanted to join you guys on this hash. I shave my legs, armpits, bought new panties, and had my hair pouffed, but in the end I just could do it. Now I'm so ashamed. But it made me realize I can't hide behind trees anymore.

I watched you guys gather on Brown Ave., and after a short while, you were all scampering along merrily into Snake Den Park. Bondo was on his bike without a seat, Basket and Oozing were leading a small, but cute, pack of guys into the woods and down through the rocks. A really big guy, who I heard later was a visitor called LOAF, ran just behind a girl. What she was doing there was anybody's guess. She was kinda cute in a feminine way, and Dr. WHO was showing her the RIH3 markings. Someone called her Kristen. I much prefer that big boy, but I'm sure he would have never even cast an eye in my direction. The last to show was PW. No one expected him back after Bondo's Hash across from Diamond Hill. PW was lost in the swamp with Oozing, and promised him anything to stay with him as the setting sun caused shadows to blanket every mark left by the hare.

He really is pathetic. Bondo, that is. Leaving poor PW out in the dark like that. I'm glad it wasn't me.

The perfectly formed butt of Basket led all down to a small brook. He crossed over the brook and Dr. WHO was just behind. Basket went straight, and would not be seen until the Beer stop. WHO led the pack of dogs and hashers, including the biker, up and down the cliffs where not long ago Async had his winter beer stop complete with fire to warm our frozen fingers. It was so comforting, and the heat on my bottom gave rise to my front. I had to sneak off and get off when no one was looking.

The pack meandered up and down the cliffs for a good 20 minutes until they saw the "No Beer Stop" sign. Bondo started his usual vulgar vocalizing of his idea of a good run, while the rest continue on. They made there way out to the power lines, and searching for flour there, saw Basket at the bottom of the hill, standing in water up to his knees. All must of thought it was one of Basket's things he always does, when he call up and told them to look further uphill. Flour was found, but it only led to a 'False Trail' marking, the sneaky bastard.

When the pack neared, he called out "On Beer" and we could see Async standing beside him, both drinking our favorite beverage. From my vantage point, I could see it was Guinness, and I was more than a little disappointed in myself for not jumping out and getting a cold one for myself. I guess I'd rather eat crow later, than swallow my pride now, or is it eat and swallow something else, whatever, I didn't have the balls.

They were there a short while, drinking and singing, when Ever Ready Smelly Beaver 9 ran out of the woods with KNO. Her hair was all disheveled and her shirt was on backward. I guess she must have dressed quickly after work, and had KNO pick her up. They live near each other, I guess. Finally the last to show was Bondo. Complaining that he carried his bike up and down that cliff 6 times and didn't believe the sign about no beer. Boy did the "F's" start flying, especially when he reached into the cooler and found the cupboard bare. Luckily he reached into Basket's Celtic shorts, where he found the last Guinness. That shut him up for a short while.

When the beer was finished, all had to make there way back across that putrid standing water to the trails that led back to the cars. They circled up off the roadway, and the hare got a down-down, along with the visitors. Basket got the Hashit, and the pack sang some great songs. I wish I had the balls to join them. They all left together, went into Swampy's for food and beer. Maybe I'll join them next week.

On On,

    Raging Queen Of Beer