Bondo Keg Lift

Run: #867, December 9, 2002

Hare: Bondo “I’ll pump you up!” Jovi
Scribe: Basket
Location: Woonsocket

Theme: “Why run my arse outside in the cold, when I can have a weightlifting event in my garage?”

Hares: Oozing ‘the Giant’ Syph, WIPOS ‘ the Crusher’, Basket ‘the Terminator’ Boom Boom

Location: First guess? Woonsocket! All other guesses are wrong.

The Run:

Bondo Jovi tried to be different, as if he isn’t already, on setting somewhat a different type of hash. Thinking we were here for the workout, he planned a beer keg sprint around his block, after warming up exercises of weights, squats, pull-ups, and 16 ounce Bondo Beer curls.

The hounds displayed little enthusiasm, as we were expecting, at the very least, a small exertion on his part to set trail.  We watched, astonished, as Bondo explained the evening’s events. Barbells were fashioned from bars attached to 5 gal beer kegs. 3 dumbbells stood around watching him enthusiastically go through each event. They were arranged to slowly build muscle warmth, until the grand event arrived.

·         The 16 oz Bondo Beer Curl: Starting position was the Beer Engine table top, then lifting slowly to the mouth and pouring in a sizable amount. This was repeated until the glass was emptied, and the other arm was then exercised. 10 lifts each arm.

·         The Keg over the Head Thrust: repetitions of lifting a full 5-gallon beer keg over ones head. Keeping the arm straight overhead for a full 30 seconds and repeated until the requisite number, 10 was attained.

·         The Keg Squat: A bar was attached to two 5 gallon kegs, and we were to squat between them, place bar over the shoulder, stand upright and then squat again touching the kegs to the floor. This was repeated 15 times.

·         Final event was taking a keg and running the half-mile around Bondo’s block. The judge left discrimination and ingenuity up to the competitors.

Since very few of us chose to waste energy on the ridiculous, we went straight from the 16 oz curls to the keg run, in an effort to get on with food and beer. Now 5 gallons of liquid plus the steel keg weighs about 50 pounds and to run any distance with this awkward container, outside on ice, would be difficult, if not dangerous. Taking that in mind, the race began:

Oozing was first to grab a 2-wheeled dolly and strap his keg aboard.

Then WIPOS placed his keg in a backpack strapped to his back.

Basket opened the top and poured what turned out to be Woonsocket water on the floor of the garage, which quickly turned to ice.