The Queen's Circle Heartbreak Hash

Run: #868, December 16, 2002

Hare: Raging Queen
Scribe: Basket
Location: far off the beaten path on Heartbreak Pond in what could have been the Arctic Circle
Weather: effin cold, blistering wind, ice-covered ground, and bloody dark
Hounds: Jake, Ben, Seamus
Idiots: Bondo Jovi, Basket Boom Boom, WIPOS

The Run:

I was first to arrive at Heartbreak Pond this fine winters evening. It was a quarter past 6 and not one other freezing bugger was around. This was history in the making.

Basket first to arrive!!!

Then, after 10 minutes of talking to my dog, because nobody else was in earshot, I got to thinking, maybe I’m at the wrong start? Maybe there’s a huge pack of hashers standing around somewhere else, wondering where Basket is and if he’ll show? Wondering if tonight, there would be no one to pick on, or give the Hashit to, or blame something stupid on? Or maybe, it was too cold for everyone but Seamus and me.

Then an "On On" carried across the pond, just around the bend, at the other parking area. Surely the crowd would be there instead, and I wasn’t first after all.

As I pulled in beside 2 cars, Bondo was chatting small talk to the Hare, and as I rolled down my window to say hey. They said they saw me pull in, but they decided they had some private conversations going on, and they were going to wait to see if I would look for them.

I complimented them both on their winter clothing, and as I got out of the warm car in my lab coat and shorts, I was thinking how warm it must be at home, and how few of us showed up tonight. Finally, the last idiot arrived, and we waited for some time as WIPOS finished dressing, before taking off, clockwise, around the lake.

The hare had us bushwhack for about a quarter mile, as is customary for this hare, as his goal is to maim or cripple as many as possible right off the bat. That way we won’t ask him to hare anymore. We’re too smart for that. We see right through his plan, and we’ll keep his on the hareline until one of us dies.

We made our way out to a trail, that continued northerly until we found ourselves, at a walkway, over the northern most point. Beer was discovered and the four enjoyed some extremely cold beer. The dogs had even less intelligence, as they played in the brook and swamp under the bridge, pulling out sticks to play tug of war with, and run between legs, to trip and cripple us.

The enjoyment was short lived, as Bondo decided he had had enough, and proceeded southerly around the pond. The Hare advised the remaining Hounds, that back counterclockwise was shorter, and he would be taking that route, back to the cars. Being super intelligent, we made our separate ways back to the cars, and circled up.

It was short and sweet. Hare got Down-downed, Bondo got Hashit, we sang a couple songs, and Swing-lowed. Then headed over to Mark’s for some food and beer, and relief from the cold. The conversation in Mark’s was mostly about the absent Hounds. Dr. WHO, as well as Async found something more important to do, each sticking to stories of family responsibilities. Now there’s an Oxymoron. Hashers and Responsibilities just don’t belong in the same paragraph! As for the other missing in action, the bimbos get off because it was tit-biting cold, and we know how that hurts. Everyone else is either crippled or hash wanna-be’s.

OnOn to next hash where the RIH3 won’t act like a bunch of Mary’s.

Basket Boom Boom