Dr. Who's Revenge

Run: #871, January 6, 2003

Hare: Dr Who
Scribe: Async
Location: Smithfield, RI
Weather: 20's, snow flurries
Present: Dr WHO, Async, Bondo Jovi, EverReady, Oozing, Basket

The Run:

Dr Who was still pissed off.  He was convinced we engineered his gift of Raging Brew at the Xmas Hash.  After two weeks of Genesee Light, Dr Who was beginning to show early signs of Ragingdom....including a sudden fondness for light American beer and cross dressing survivalists from Connecticut.   So, on Monday night, he decided to exact revenge upon the hash by laying a marathon shiggyfest through the frozen tundra (redundant?) of Smithfield.

By 6:15 Monday night, the aforementioned Who was waiting in the parking lot for someone...anyone... to show up.  Concerned about the potential threat to its citizenry, two Smithfield police cruisers kept a watchful eye upon the hash sawbones.  After a few minutes, Async pulled up in his macho man Camry (note:  Async does not believe the recent newspaper article describing the average Camry buyer as a 53-year old woman!).  At about 6:25, Bondo and Basket showed up with glassy-eyed looks from spending the previous half hour in the intimate airless lounge at Swampy's Bar and Grill.

At 6:31:04 P.M., after a lame set of mumbled hash d'rections and  excuses about snow obscuring marks, the forlorn three hounds followed the hare behind the strip mall and up into the woods.  Heading out onto the dark power line in the freshly fallen snow, the trail skirted the perimeter of Smithfield Crossing, (another charming collection of big-box stores set into former shiggy after a sweetheart deal made between developers and greedy small-town selectmen).

The trail meandered through the woods, across swollen icy brooks, through the wetlands and generally north along the powerline.  Async, Bondo and Dr Who took advantage of every opportunity to leave Basket behind in the woods, but the tenacious ex-Marine followed footprints through the snow to keep up with the pack.

After heading north along the powerline for about two miles, the trail made a U-turn through the woods to the south.   A short wooded jaunt later, the four hashers emerged into the old quarry along Route 5.  Ben and Jake soon sniffed out the beer, and we enjoyed porter near the romantic waterfall in the center of the quarry.  Shivering in the dark, the hashers set out further up into the quarry.  Upon reaching the edge of the woods at the top of the quarry, we heard distant whistles and cries of "On-On!".  After a few minutes, distant headlamps were spotted heading towards us at a leisurely pace.  It was Oozing and EverReady.   (It seems that our very own EverReady had foolishly said "yes" to KNO's entreaties a  few days before.  Yes, the poor young lady is planning the "M" word).   Seizing an opportunity to spend one last time alone with the hash terrorist, EverReady sought his counsel in the deep dark woods.  They didn't seem to be any hurry to catch up with the pack.

After an impromptu second beer check, the shivering wet pack headed back up to the powerline for the run back to the start.   The circle was held behind an apartment complex behind the Apple Valley Mall.   The usual ministrations were administered by religious adviser Basket.    Crimes, real and imagined, were identified and the innocent punished.   Async received Hashit honors for reasons forgotten.

The cold wet group repaired to the parking lot of Swampy's to change into warm, dry clothes.   A few tipsy patrons emerging from the bar were a little startled by the sight of a naked Bondo writhing around in the back of his truck with dogs...but we reassured them the Boddhavista was simply getting ready to go inside.

All in all, Dr Who succeeded in thoroughly punishing the hash for that damn case of Genny Light.   Raging would have been proud.

On On,

Async