MLK Day Hash or Military Loves to Kill Hash.

Run #873, January 20, 2003

Hare: Oozing X.

Wannabe Hare: Major Corporeal Basket.

Hashers: Async, WIPOS, Trail H./7 years 'itch, and One Million Men.

Where: the lovely pastures of Alabama, nr. CCRI, Lincoln RI.

The March er...Run:

Like the late Reverend, I too had a dream! I had a dream of a perfectly marked trail, when the rhody hash stalwarts would forget to cum out on a Monday night and in their place a half dozen scantily-clad-beer-chugging nymphets singing and dancing to the fresh sounds of the sitar, and in place of the infernal seemingly never-ending Mon Night Football, would be telecast heart-pumping and leather-thumping cricket much to the chagrin of an intellectually challenged citizenry.

The truth lies somewhere in between, for altho' twas a perfectly laid trail, the aforementioned stalwarts did indeed show up. The Million Man however presumably marched onwards and rumour has it were sighted at the Warwick CCRI campus, where they proceeded to recite the Koran, throw Molotov cocktails at every moving object and chant anti-semitism slogans all in the name of peace and Islam. In response, a million miles away a certain army grazed a couple of suspect homes to the ground. The home belonged to a certain self-proclaimed Bodhisattva who brewed a wicked holy drink and possibly, by the sight of the equipment, ecstasy. Luckily, the deity was away preaching( some say moaning and groaning with much profanity) in middle America. But we digress...what is this? A DrWHO write-up?!

Talking of whom, it appears he remains stupefied by his xmas gift and is overcome by its intoxicating smell, er, taste. Oozing set a fine trail indeed. It meandered into the woods circling away from the college, far into the depths of wild nature away from homo sapiens habitat (yes,and away from Bondo's too), with encounters with all sorts of wildlife. Up cliffs and into valleys. Deep into Lincoln into territory hitherto undiscovered by this hash. And to commemorate Capt Cooks crossing of the Antarctic this day in 1773, and subsequent discovery of Antarctica in 1840 by the Russians, the hare led the pack over a just frozen lake Olney. The lake groaned underneath the weight of Wipos 3 layered GoreTex clothing, but the pack made it across not once but twice and into the beer check. Strangers attempted to follow the pack, but as Basket warmed himself with his own flatulence, they made a hasty retreat and called the local Guard fearing an Iraqi-led chemical attack.

What a hash!! Now had Basket set the run, well one can only guess he would take the pack on a never-ending run 'neath power-lines, with less than three marks and leave the hash to fend for themselves. And to think the hare would ask the aging marine to fill in for him. Lucky for us!! The ONIN, once again convened to that fine establishment, the Lodge. The pack instinctively broke into the Gloria Gaynor tune I Will Survive that topped the charts this week in 1979, no doubt finding the interior 70 degrees more hospitable than the outdoors 0 below. Async favoured the vegetarian dish which sent the kitchen personnel in a frenzy and outdoors to pluck any surviving wild cabbage from the swamp behind. Async relied on popcorn for sustenance instead. Guinness was enjoyed by all and with a joint prayer for no more Basket hashes, the pack retired into the cold, misty night....

OnOn,

the reverend Oozing X.