Dr. Zhivago Hash

Run #877, February 17, 2003

Hare: THE Raging ‘Snow Hare’ Queen of Beers

Scribe: THE Raging ‘Snow Hare’ Queen of Beers

Location: ‘Winter Wonderland’ RI
Weather: mid-20’s, airborne shiggy
Present: ‘Frozen’ Bondo Jovi, ‘Alpine’ Basket Boom Boom, Oozing ‘Ice Covered’ SD, SESYBlizzard
Other Hounds: Ben, Jake, Seamus
Commemorating: 77th anniversary of the avalanche that buried 75 in Sap Gulch Bingham UT

            As the traditional start time neared, the hare found himself alone at the start wondering where the other wankers (OK, nutcases) were and mulled over the Hash of One write-up.  Giving up on the hoped for mental deficiencies of the rest of the hash and thinking of all that cold beer in the back of the hash truck our stalwart hare started home.  Nearly a mile down the road were spotted two Abominable Snowmen and their hounds!  Wait, no, it was Bondo Jovi and Basket Boom Boom.  Seems they missed the start somehow.  One may suggest having Bondo navigate could account for this.  But I digress….

 

While enticing these hashers with tales of trail and beer who but Oozing and Seven Year ‘itch drove up.  After an amazing display of Connecticut going forward in reverse driving the pack assembled at the start.  Our Pakistani friend then impressed the women and old men of the hash into digging a path out of the snow covered parking area whilst a much bewildered snow plow driver looked on in amazement at the hash preparing to hazard the wonderfully crisp, snow laden air in pursuit of beer.

            The hare gave d’erections to look for the yellow snow.. er, flour or the rectangular yellow marks so carefully placed on trees.  Bondo and Basket sported their most fashionable snowshoes and snow poles.  Seems they have found WIPOS’ favorite boutique!  With cries of ON ON and the beginning of the F ratings from Bondo the pack followed FRB Bondo into the wilds of Western Connecticut.  Here the hare, suffering from a short bout of common sense, faded back and brought the beer to a foreshortened end of trail/beer check.

            The pack was relocated just short of the beer truck that was boldly emblazoned with ‘Budweiser, King of Beers’.  Where would a Queen be without his King?  First located were Oozing and SESYB who both commented on the wonderfully large amounts of white powder.  Who would have thought a trail could be over-marked?  Crawling up to the top of the hill were Bondo, Basket, and the mismanagement.  Who knows what happened on trail but Basket was beside himself as Bondo had bent his pole.  This falls squarely within the bounds of ‘Don’t ask, Don’t tell’.  After a short slog through the Hemlock Forest and over rocky hills covered in two feet of snow the beer truck was reached.  Taking a Russianesque trek through the winter wonderland that is Rockville is thirsty work.  Alas, the pack was sorely disappointed to find only Long Trail suds and not a Bud in sight.  Songs were sung and ice began to form in unmentionable places prompting the hash to load up the beer truck Beverly Hillbilly’s style and cranium back to the start.

            The circle formed and the hare was given his just reward for a superbly laid trail with appropriate weather to boot.  Due to the half-minds being frozen and snow blind the circle closed with no hashit awarding or religion.  The hash then sought cold beer in a warm pub.  Praying that the Wood River Inn would be open the three-vehicle caravan started North.  There was no room at the Inn for the frozen hashers but Oozing’s cousin had ensured that warmth and cold Guinness awaited the hash even if no fries were available.  Firmly ensconced beneath a sign reading ‘Welcome All Grand Stretchers of the Truth’ the hash broke bread (and wind.. Bondo) and showed Just Erica, the stranded in Rockville Baltimore hasher wannabe, just what hard-core hashing is all about!

On On,

Raging QOB