Basket Sings the Blues Hash

Run #886, April 7, 2003
Hare: Basket
Co-Hare (From many weeks previously): Dr WHO
Scribe: EverReady
Location: Smithfield Ice Rink
Weather: Cool
Present: Bondo Jovi, Async, Dr WHO, WIPOS, Ben, Jake, Seamus.
Celebrating: The Birthday of Eleanora Fagan (Billie Holiday).

The Run:

Wolf Hill in Smithfield. Oh My Gosh! This place is like so romantic for me. It was here in Smithfield, where I first told the Hash that KNO and I were to be married. And Basket the hare, bless his soul, set trail in honor of our plighted troth (whatever that means) a mere 90 days later. O, three months ago how lost and yet how found I was when Oozing led me from the woods, desperate and desolate in the deepening snow, by reminding me of my waiting KNO, and by grabbing me by my big …but I digress, lol. Any ways, back then we joined the group, and my news was received with congratulations and great rejoicing. Small wonder that I have agreed to write up yet another run that I missed. Luckily for me (and you all out there, you KNO who you are (tee-hee!)) the Raging Queen of Beer agreed to help me with this write-up. How does he KNO so much? :-)

Well you KNOw, preparing for a wedding takes up a lot of a girl’s time. So I can’t always run with you guys. But anyways, I can sure tell you about it this time. The hare set trail from the Smithfield Ice Rink, hoping that no one would KNOtice that it was the same trail Dr WHO set a few months ago, from a different starting point. It was like he didn’t care that his bridesmaids were wearing last year’s styles! I mean come on! But anyways, the boys set off, stag again! You KNOw, anyone who didn’t KNOw them the way I KNOw them might think they were gay! Luckily I KNOw. KNO way!

The trail started out behind the rink by the Smithfield DPW salt storage shed. Async and WHO easily followed the trail out to the roads going north. Poor Dears! They had a lot of road ahead of them. I hope they don’t get stress fractures or anything that might keep them from dancing at my wedding! What a naughty hare!  With all those lovely woods around! Anyways the hash spread out following flour and then curving around east past the Police Department. WHO just knew that the lazy hare would use either the powerlines or the other trails on Wolf Hill, so he and Async went up into the woods. They ignored the hare’s frantic trumpeting and Bondo’s hooting, refusing to go back. So they missed the beer stop. Aging men alone in the woods. This reminds me. Which one of you guys is arranging KNO’s Bachelor Party? It had better be tasteful. Remember that he has a teenaged daughter. Maybe Dr WHO should arrange it. He won’t have some young floozy jumping out of a cake or anything.

Well, back to my story. WIPOS, Bondo and the hare found the beer and enjoyed a few. Async and Dr WHO came to some trails that they followed back south along the reservoir. They found some flour and a few checks. But the flour disappeared after a check at a fork. One way went uphill to the powerlines. One way went down to the quarry, and that precious little waterfall that Dr WHO had used for a beer check. In both directions they could see orange powder marks on the trees. It turned out that these were the marks left by Dr WHO that had survived the winter. I am glad too. I thought that shade of orange Kool-Aid mixed with flour was perfect for my bridesmaids’ dresses. I am going back out there with some swatches very soon. I just can’t wait to see the girls in these dresses. Kind of a backless low cut deal with some underwires up front and they all come with a matching thong monokini for the adventurous to show off at the reception.

I keep getting distracted. But who wouldn’t, with KNO breathing heavy on the nape of my neck. Let me get finished, sweetie, then I’ll put on the French maid’s costume for you. (Or is it a Freedom maid’s costume, now, I don’t KNOw!) Anyways, Async and WHO went uphill and downhill, back and forth, to and fro even. They had just about decided to go down to the waterfall when they heard a distant trumpet approaching. Finally Basket, WIPOS and Bondo came down the path, beer in hand. They had an impromptu beer stop to allow Bondo and the hare time to make fun of the SC-ing FRB’s. And then off to the waterfall to finish off the beer. Now you KNOw a lot of Caribbean islands have really pretty waterfalls. KNO and I had thought about having our wedding in a natural pool by one of these waterfalls. You KNOw, like one of those shampoo commercials. But there were KNO good ones in St Maarten, where we are going. (I just told KNO that KNOwing him, we really should be going to St JOHN THOMAS, if you KNO w what I mean lol.)

Well, OK. The boys had had their beer, so they jogged back to the Ice Rink without anything silly happening. They circled and rated the run. It got much better marks than it deserved really, total +0.69 mostly because Async and Dr.WHO got skunked at the first beer check. But  come on! Positive marks without me or my KNO there? And KNOt even a Hoover or Swallow in sight? And KNO shiggy? But when the hare tried to make everyone sing a bunch of Billie Holiday songs rewritten as hash tunes, the hash responded appropriately, giving him the hashit. Now for me, I’m thinking “The Wedding Song” as we march up the aisle, “Feelings” as we leave the ceremony and a bunch of Donna Summer and BeeGees for the reception. Don’t worry, Basket. I won’t forget the “Electric Slide” and the “Chicken Dance” for you!

Where did they eat? Why Swampy’s, of course! They said the pickled eggs were off unfortunately. I heard that our hotel in the Caribbean has cajun pickled eggs, by the way. I have ordered 2000 of them for the reception, so you all better come hungry! But everything else was fine and another hash was over successfully, and now that I have written it up, we can put it to bed. Speaking of that, KNO has been a naughty boy, and I think I’ll just have to put him to bed too, right now. If only I can remember where I put that rectal thermometer.

On On

EverReady the Eager Beaver 6.9