Bondo Invades Commonwealth Hash

Run #895, June 9, 2003
Hare: Bondo Jovi
Scribe: Async
Location: Blackstone, MA
Weather: Warm, Humid
Present: Async, Dr WHO, SESYB, WIPOS, Birdbrain,  Basket Boom Boom, Oozing, Fuwangi Boner, Swallows My Pride, Seamus, Ben and Jake.
Visiting Wenches: Dog Meat, Just Big Shit, Just Jody

The Run:

The usual miscreants gathered on a warm and sticky afternoon in Blackstone, Mass.    Doctors Swallows, Who and Oozing were on hand to continue their secret case study of the Rhode Island Hash House Harriers.     (The Good Doctor is studying the growth of microbial parasites between the toes of shiggy slogging hashers, the Bad Doctor is studying gastrointestinal distress generated by excessive consumption of Bondo homebrew, and the Ugly Doctor is studying the bizarre behavior of xenophobic middle aged Caucasian alcoholics).   BasketBoomBoom brought that buggering, slobbering hound of his....no, not WIPOS, Seamus.  Fuwangi Boner, having been evicted from his digs in Narragansett, moved back into his parent's house in nearby Cumberland, and therefore had plenty of time to get to the hash.   Birdbrain, our only active military hasher, was commissioned by the Office of Homeland Security  to protect the purity of the Blackstone River, the drinking water source for northern Woonsocket.  And last, but not least, three lovely young hash groupies, Dog Meat, Just Big Shit and Just Jody, attended the hash to ogle the studly old banker from Providence.

At the appointed run start time of 6:30, there was no hare to be found.    Someone suggested that hare Bondo may have drowned in the swollen Blackstone River.   Nah, impossible said Dr Who.   Too much buoyancy generated by excessive unreleased flatulence.

With no hare in sight, the pack took off on trail.   A short circle jerk thru some nearby streets and shiggy led to a crossing of the Blackstone.   Doctor Swallows entertained the pack with high-pitched squeals of delight as she waded across the thong-high waters of the river.  Up the river bank on the opposite side, the trail entered some woodsy shiggy...then out onto a power line and nearby dirt bike trails.

The trail headed generally north, parallel to the river over a branch of the Providence and Worcester RR, and to a beer check in a small grove next to the river.   Awaiting the pack were the aforementioned  hash groupies and a pair of canoes.   We entertained the ladies with a selection of charming hash ditties, then watched as the Boddhavista rounded a bend in the river, paddling upstream in yet another canoe.    It seems that our hare had paddled upstream all the way from the dam at the start.    The dogs swam out to meet the intrepid hare.

We piled into the canoes for a continuation of the beer check.    A pretty strong current made it an easy paddle back to the start.   WIPOS, Fuwangi Birdbrain and Async took an early lead.    The Bad Doctor provided ballast for a canoe paddled by Ms Hoover and Ms Pride.    The third canoe, paddled by Bondo, Basket and Oozing brought up the rear.      Seamus, Ben and Jake hitched a ride with the ladies back to Bondo's.

The pack enjoyed the usual Bondo hospitality back in the Woonsocket home of the Rhode Island Hash.    Bondo chili and Bondo brew.     The usual hash crimes, real and imagined, were recognized in the circle.   Async was given the hashit for expressing envy of the threesome enjoyed by Dr Who on the river.

All in all, another fine waste of a perfectly good Monday summer evening.

On On

Async