Tinker's Wanks in Wickford

Run #940, April 19, 2004

Hare: Tinker

Weather: Clear, 50’s

Location: Oak Hill Pub, North Kingston

Present: Basket Boom Boom, Dr WHO, Fuwangi Boner, WIPOS, Oozing SD, SESYB, Seamus.

The Run:

The starting point was the Oakhill Tavern in Wickford with its famed $8.99 Monday Steak Fry. Even this couldn’t swell the numbers who appeared for this hash. But those who did arrive were well served by the hare. Promptly at 6:30 they were off. Trail led north briefly on Rt 1, and turned west on Haverhill Rd. to its end. No surprises. It was straightforward until they entered the woods.

Tinker-style checks were out in force. This means that the check often substantially backtracked on itself to a previous unmarked trail. But even knowing this was little help for these wankers. At the first major check it was Dr WHO caught on first. Leaving the rest behind, he found flour and led west to the shore of Bellville Pond. He turned south to a check with swamp to the left, pond to the right and trail ahead to the bridge and path leading to Ryan Park. SESYB and Fuwangi caught up, but refused to follow after marks ended on the far side of the bridge. Basket, WHO and Oozing continued to the softball fields, hearing calls which sounded like “On ON!” (Actually, they were shouting “Yer OUT!” But sight, hearing and intelligence are traditionally lacking in the RIH3.) WHO gave up and turned back. Basket and Oozing pressed on.

The crafty hare had indeed continued northwest, and Fuwangi and SESYB followed true trail. They were finally joined by WHO, only to become mutually confused yet again by the bizarre checks. But up ahead, WIPOS emerged on trail (against all odds). They regrouped and followed the old railroad grade, and eventually turned right to cross Ten Rod Road. Basket and Oozing were still nowhere to be seen (or heard).

Trail then skirted an auto dealership on the left with a farm on the right.  Several attractive sheep and goats beckoned to Fuwangi. Luckily for these gentle animals, they were guarded by a large longhorn bull and an electric fence. Trail continued north into Coccumcussoc Park. Back in the woods and up a hill, they finally came to the BC, and directed by the hare soon found beer and potato chips. When the chips were almost gone, a sheepish Basket and Oozing straggled in.

After finishing the limited supplies of beer, the on in trail was found. They continued north, entering a swamp filled with skunk cabbage, but relatively little moisture. It was getting dark and flashlights came out. But the trail was straightforward. They crossed Coccumcussoc Brook, and came to a field and truck, containing a grinning hare and more beer. Oozing and SESYB came in last, looking flushed and sated. (Fuwangi quit smoking; they might have asked for a cigarette, but were out of luck.)

The circle was joined. Ratings for the run were good: swamp, incomprehensible checks, Basket and Oozing lost for substantial periods, no Bondo. Total:6.9. Hashit was given to Basket, or at least that’s your scribe’s story and he is sticking to it. After religion, SESYB jumped into the cab of the truck, leaving the rest hanging on for dear life in the truck bed, as they drove back on Stony Lane to Rt 1. On the ride, they sang more songs than they have the last two or three hashes put together. And at the subsequent steak fry, food missiles and stupid hash tricks made their reappearance for the season. Popcorn, fries, and even a bleu-cheese dressed cherry tomato made it into the beers. More songs were trotted out. The management began to look concerned. Spring must be in the air for the RIH3.

On On