Bondo’s Burryville Hash

Run #944, May 17, 2004

Hare: Bondo Jovi

Location: Barbers Farm Road, Burrillville

Weather: 60’s, Clear

Present: Dr WHO, Async, Basket Boom Boom, Oozing SD, Fuwangi Boner, Tinker, Face Douche, Ben, Jake, Seamus.

The Run:

Your scribe cannot better describe the hash this week than simply to copy the hare’s immortal d’erections, straight from the guestbook. No changes have been made.

hey fellow ass wipes Bondo has once again cume up with a spectacular run this monday. virgin territory I do say Virgin and there will be at least one virgin there. the run will start at duche face's house. you ask how do I get there ? simple asso get in your car. Follow the road to Rt 7 towards burryville and about 3/4 mi before the western Hotel take a left( that is if you are cumming from providence) onto Tarklin Rd and follow that all the way to the end. When you arrive at the end of Tarklin Rd you must take a left if you go right you must be Jesus Christ becuase the bridge is out and you will have to drive over water. Any way take a fucken left onto Cooper Rd ( no sign) and go about 3/4mi to Barberfarm Rd h3 sign will be posted look for big white house 1 of 3 take your choice you have a 33% chance of being right... On On

With a beginning like this, who needs to run?

The usual crew of misfits arrived at the rural home of a major backslider Face Douche, who hasn’t been hashing because of some lame excuse involving multiple cardiac arrests or something. But at least he threw open his home for the hash. Slightly late (because of Oozing and Fuwangi having trouble with the bridge being out) they set out into the woods southeast through Face Douche's backyard. There was a surprising amount of flour for a Bondo run, and they pretty much stayed together. It was mostly bushwhacking at first, with some good poison ivy and briars for all.

Trail turned west and entered a swampy area with a flooded path. Fuwangi, Basket and Tinker stayed on trail with the hare, but Oozing and WHO found that they could avoid the shiggy by following the sounds of trail up on a ridgeline parallel to the others. The hare began whining about not following true trail. They came out into an abandoned quarry. Most of the day-old marks had been blown away, but the hare was thirsty and gave several hints that had the hashers continuing through the base of the sand and gravel pit west and south to a check mark just before Gazza Road.  Some slight confusion arose, but the trail was found by Async and Fuwangi doubling back north along the western ridge of the quarry to the beer stop.

They gathered above a small quarry pool for some Bondo-brew, almost completely exhausted from the grueling 0.9 miles of trail they had crossed. The stagnant water was a fertile breeding ground and the mosquitoes were out in force, so it wasn’t a total waste. After a few songs, the hare directed the group to continue north, warning that he had mislaid in a few areas. What else is new? They left the quarry behind and came to a network of paths. Fuwangi, WHO and Async chose one alternative ending to the hash, and emerged on Cooper Hill Road 300 yards north of Barber Farm Road. Basket, Oozing and Tinker chose another, and proceeded directly to Face Douche's backyard. The hare chose a third route, and got lost in the woods. Your scribe cannot make this stuff up!

By the time the bedraggled hare struggled out of the woods, most of the hashers were beginning to feel the effects of the many beers they had had while waiting. The circle was joined and the run rated. Virgin territory, mild to moderate shiggy, hare lost by himself on his own trail: 6.9! The backslider was punished, Hashit was given (to Bondo?). And finally, they moved up onto the deck where Face Douche's wife had prepared a feast of grilled burgers, Bondo chili, salad etc. They ate well and, feeling the effects of excessive beer with less than 2 miles of trail, sang the longest version of the Rhubarb song in history, along with several other classics. The Burrillville (sorry: burryville) police were called by the neighbors, but they couldn’t find the house either. So the evening ended successfully. Just another manic Monday.

On On