Lime Rock Hash

Run #948, June 14, 2004

Hare: Dr W.H.O.

Location: Lime Rock Preserve, Lincoln

Weather: High 70’s, Clear

Present: Basket Boom Boom, Tinker, Bondo Jovi, Fuwangi Boner, Oozing S.D., WIPOS, Seamus, Jake, Ben.

The Run:

The outstanding hare once again set trail with yet another candidate for Run-Of-The-Year. This time it was in virgin territory, beginning at the Dunkin’ Donuts opposite the Lincoln Mall on Rt 116. How does he come up with these great trails? He must be superhuman! What a hare! At any rate, the pack gathered with great anticipation near an abandoned car at the back of the parking lot, and started off promptly at 6:30.

Trail was found leading west into the woods between the apartments and some factories. All kept together through a field of refuse, complete with ten-speed bicycle for Oozing, and came out on one of the back roads in the industrial park. The first check sent Basket east, Oozing west and Fuwangi south, on true trail back into the woods. The fantastic hare promised that there would be no more pavement this night! He had thought of everything!

A brief bushwhack over a hill led to a path and marks turning east. Fuwangi and Oozing led, Tinker and Basket fell behind. A check was again mastered by Fuwangi who headed east down the middle of a stream, the head waters of the Woonasquatucket River actually. Bondo and Oozing tried to avoid the water at first, but soon realized that the cooling stream was much more comfortable than the thorn-filled banks. Basket and Tinker blew through the “X” heading south, and were temporarily lost. WIPOS, impervious to plant menaces in 10 layers, avoided the water and followed through the underbrush. But what a glorious stream they missed, with crystal cascades, and refreshing pools. The hare had done it again!

At the base of the hill, a check mark offered the adventurous a choice: straight ahead through a 50 yard long, four-foot high tunnel to a lake, or a steep gravelly climb up an embankment to the old electric trolley grade. WHO could choose between such wonderful options? Trail turned north on the grade and then circled east above the pond, led by Oozing and Fuwangi. Basket, Tinker and WIPOS had come to the south side of the pond, and stumbled around across the dam and back uphill. But the hare had placed a brilliantly conceived circle-jerk over the large cliff on the eastern side of the pond. All were thoroughly confused, allowing Bondo take the lead and find true trail, down a stream though a steep canyon. After 150 yards, trail turned up the southern wall of the canyon to a scenic overlook. Could this trail be more perfect? Not a chance!

The confused others ended up meeting with FRB Bondo by blind luck, and they were all together briefly until a check sent Oozing, WIPOS and Basket south on a deer trail while the rest stayed on true trail southwest over some fallen trees. The poor would-be short-cutters had to follow the sounds of the thoughtful hare’s whistle to bushwhack through some thorns and poison ivy to rejoin the trail’s leaders on a path. But the path soon turned west through a briar patch, over a stone wall, and up to the BC, atop yet another scenic outlook. It just doesn’t get any better than this!

A plentiful supply of a choice IPA was easily found. (This hare doesn’t believe in such foolishness as hiding beer with excessive zeal. This hare wants all to enjoy themselves. This hare is looking out for his pack. This hare truly cares!) And accompanying the beer: wonderful unsalted and healthful peanuts in two varieties: Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees. There was much rejoicing.

Now some hares would feel their job complete. A wonderfully varied and scenic trail. Streams, poison ivy, thorns and mosquitoes. A beautiful beer check with snacks and songs. But the trail on in was short, straightforward and yet exceptional. The trolley grade was rejoined and followed north through some fine and viscous mud flats. The pond was again passed and trail led to a check and a short path up a rocky berm through some garbage from the nearby Wendy’s. Jake the Grandmaster took one look at this and balked. It required the combined efforts of Basket, Oozing, Tinker and Bondo to hoist the aging animal up to safety. Just another jewel in the crowning achievement of this hare’s efforts!

When all were gathered, the circle was held in the woods by the abandoned bicycle at the beginning of the trail. Ratings were not necessarily all that high numerically, because no one wanted to embarrass the hare. And how can you rate a near perfect run? But the pack reached for straws such as the lousy (clear) weather, the lack of bimbo’s and no one lost on trail. Total 0.69! Hashit to Bondo for attempted assassination of the Grandmaster.

On On

The Impartial Dr W.H.O.