Islands in the Hash

Run #958, August 23, 2004

Hare:  Dr WHO

Location:  Attleboro

Weather:  Low 80’s, Clear

Present:  Tinker, Bondo Jovi, Async, WIPOS, Basket Boom Boom, Fuwangi Boner, Oozing SD, SESYB, Seamus, Ben.

The Run:

A run so brilliant that even in summary, it shines out as the Run of The Year! This was a clockwise circle through the Attleboro Water District, with shiggy, water, and near-drownings. It doesn’t get any better than this.

From a quiet street just north of Rt 123 in Attleboro, near Tiffany Rd, the trail began north and immediately led to a choice between crossing a pond outlet either in the water or on a rusted girder. It was about 50:50. Trail soon gave another choice as it turned west and followed a stream with both banks lined with briars and poison ivy. Again, it was about 50:50. A check was dealt with and the group was starting to spread out a bit until they turned northeast on an old dirt road and crossed a dry stream bed near the water processing shed. Here a circle jerk led to sufficient confusion to allow the slower runners to catch up and ultimately find trail out east to some roads. Chalk marks now continued east through a quiet neighborhood, to a path at a cul-de-sac leading to the woods.

Trail then went northeast to a check, and north on rocky trails. Basket went his own way at this point. Tinker was in the rear with an injured Async, doubtless comforting him. SESYB and Oozing led alternately, as Fuwangi managed to take every wrong turn. Bondo was swearing, an on-the-fly rating of at least 12 on the “f” scale. WIPOS decided to hang back with the invalids, suspecting treachery from the hare.

Trail finally curved east on a deer path to shore of Manchester reservoir, and the bulk of the pack arrived to find Basket and Seamus examining a “B” and an arrow pointing to an island 50 yds offshore. It took the hare’s example to get the wankers to swim however. He had only provided one life jacket for Oozing, so the resulting swim was quite a sight, with swimming dogs trying to climb on swimming hashers, and panic attacks galore. Nevertheless, they all made it to the island, where the beer was found and opened on a diving cliff out of sight of Rt 95.

After beer and spiced peanuts, they reluctantly made preparation to swim back. Efforts at using the dogs to ferry the lifejacket back to the island after Oozing had crossed were unsuccessful and comical. Async eventually swam it back and again the crossing was made without incident. Trail was resumed southwest along the shore, out of the woods and back west on roads to the cars.

The circle was held in a patch of poison ivy off the road. Ratings: too much pavement, no one lost, no drownings, and good weather; counterbalancing this: the fine BC, reasonable shiggy and at least one injury on trail. Total: +0.69. Hashit was given to Async, mostly as a result of a masterful last-minute switch by WHO. After religion, the On On On was at Weatherlanes, again a venue much improved by the no smoking laws. Olympics were still on, and the restaurant still wouldn’t switch all the TVs to the Pakistani team handball finals.

On On