Rehashing Tiverton’s Swamps

Run #964, Sept 27, 2004

Hare:  Dr W.H.O.

Location:  Tiverton High School

Weather:  High 60’s, Clear.

Present:  Async, Basket Boom Boom, Bondo Jovi, Oozing SD, Tinker, Fuwangi Boner, Just Drew, Just Josh, Evil B*tch RIPTA, Ms. Gay RI, WIPOS, Seamus, Ben. Visitor: Flounder (Waukesha H3).

The Run:

The hash began in the parking lot of Tiverton High School, a site perhaps ill-advised considering the fact that two of the hare’s daughters were still playing field hockey on the back fields. But the hare is nothing if not cautious, and had not used any white powder within a ˝ mile radius of the school. The group gathered and as usual were off promptly at 6:30, heading north on North Brayton Rd.

The first mark was a true trail arrow, turning right into the woods. Without a check, the group spread out at first as they ran on a grassy water pipeline northeast. But the first check sent most off on a prolonged falsie west, and by the time they returned, they were together again. A second check had Just Josh and Just Drew heading for the power plant, but the rest deciphered it and came out to the gas pipeline, heading northwest. The next check sent Fuwangi ahead with Async, on a dirt road below the power plant, and then into the woods northwards.

The first swamp was encountered by the FRBs on a falsie just before Rt 24 was reached. Fuwangi, Async, Just Josh, Just Drew, WIPOS and Basket were suckered. This allowed Bondo and EB RIPTA to take the lead on true trail towards the powerlines. Tinker tried the powerlines south, but the hare has temporarily foresworn powerlines due to concerns about the effects of EMR on all the artificial parts of the aging hashers. Thus Bondo again grabbed the FRB spot and turned northeast on an abandoned logging road which led to a familiar swamp.

The going was slow through this muck, and the pack was together through this and the next obstacle, a mucky stream bed. Finally back on dry land, trail emerged again on the gas pipeline and turned through yet another swamp onto a dead end road which led to a check on Eagleville Rd. This was rapidly mastered and the pack turned into a path south into the woods, and up to a rock with a “B”. But finding the beer required the hare (even though Oozing had been hiding in the bushes 2 feet away from the beer, waiting to say: “Boo!” to someone. What a wag he is!).

The beer was opened, and spiced peanuts offered. The rhubarb refused to rise again. But no one was lost, and the hare took off with a five minute head-start to set the remaining trail. He had planned to circle outside the environs of the High School, and needed time to set up. He obviously didn’t need the full five minutes, because he sat at the circle site for over a half hour before anyone appeared.

The trail led back out to the gas pipelines and south east, past the power plant. A check sent Async into the woods west. He gave up after three marks, and returned to the gas pipeline trail where Flounder the visitor offered direction. Apparently, the reason he was in  town was to provide an insurance assessment for the Tiverton Schools, and he knew that the gas line ended at the Tiverton Middle School. So off went Async, Bondo, Oozing, Just Josh, Just Drew and WIPOS to visit another Tiverton school (the hare only has one daughter in this school).

Basket, Fuwangi, EB RIPTA, Ms Gay RI, and Tinker found the well-marked trail back to the water line, and saw a ghostly orange flag in the distance: a backlit Chinese flag from the dragon boat races that marked the circle. They waited briefly and in fact, Just Josh and Just Drew figured it out, and backtracked to the circle. Enough time wasted, the circle was joined. Ratings for the run: too short, poor weather, reused trails and Basket at the circle could not outweigh the prolonged falsies, the four swamps, extensive loss of hashers, and Bondo missing the circle. Total: 6.9! Hashit to Bondo! Why not!

They returned to the cars at a walk to find that Async had skulked off in disgust, Bondo had nearly been arrested by the Tiverton PD and things were going perfectly for the hare. Run of the Year! On On On was at A-1 Pizza in Fall River, another spot transformed by the anti-smoking laws in Massachusetts. It just doesn’t get any better than this.

On On