Ten-Mile River Hash

Run #970, Nov 8, 2004

Hare:  WIPOS

Location:  Ten-Mile River Greenway, East Providence

Weather:  30’s, Clear and windy

Present:  Dr W.H.O., Async, Just Michael (unaffiliated, first hash with RIH3, although he ran the NERD 2004), Just Bert, Just Josh, Oozing SD, SESYB, Bondo Jovi, Basket Boom Boom, Ben, Seamus.

The Run:

The d’erections specified that the hashers were to park behind the softball fields near the beginning of the bike path of the Ten-Mile River Greenway in East Providence. But Dr WHO, the perennial early arrival thought it looked a bit risky. He parked by the old Thompson School and waited. In a short time, the East Providence Police showed up, shined a searchlight over his car, and went for a cruise to the back of the softball fields.  Dr WHO stayed put, and after the police left, met the other arrivals and had them park at the school. By the time the hare showed up, the crowd was complete, except for Basket, so they were off quickly. Not quickly enough, as Basket pulled in just in time to see the flashlights heading towards the softball fields.

The first marks were found immediately after the group entered the bike path behind the fields. A path led shortly east and then turned northeast along the banks of the pond. Async and latecummer Basket short-cutted along the parallel bike path. The rest, led by Oozing, found a most viscous and foul-smelling swamp. The waters were concealed in most areas by floating leaves, and each successive runner seemed to find a worse route through the muck by trying to avoid the one chosen by the runner in front. This was excellent. But it was too short-lived.

The trail returned to the bike path, and continued briefly northeast. Then it was back into the woods along a maze of dirtbike paths crossing and recrossing the bike path. This led to enough confusion that Async and Basket were overtaken by the pack. There was confused milling about. As usual! Some tried the RR tracks or went into the Narragansett Industrial Park. Some went back down to the shores of the pond. There were no marks. Why? Because the marks were on the bike path! No one would think to look there. But finally Basket, Async and WHO gave up on the woods and simply continued northeast on the bike path. Trail was recovered. They came to the Ten- Mile River where the RR bridge crossed over the bike path bridge. Confusion again was rampant. At last, a few half-blown away marks were found crossing the river on the RR bridge and returning to dirtbike paths on the southeast side of the railroad.

The group was pretty much together as they followed marks out into a marshy area, where the hare and the BC were found. Despite the marsh grasses, and swampy smells, this was actually fairly dry. The hare could have gone another ten yards with the beer, and they all would have been ankle-deep and sinking. But laziness is becoming the trademark of our hares lately (except Dr WHO, of course), so they had to make do with what they had. Beer was opened. It was soon apparent that there was an acute beer shortage. [Note to hare: One beer for each! What were you thinking?!! At least if you bring the beer in a thermos or a juice jar, you can hide your cheapness by serving smaller portions. Try the 8 oz Dixie cups. Not that Dr WHO would ever have to resort to that!] The BC was thus quite short, with little singing, and much whining. This turned into much lamenting when the hare stated that trail back was on the bike path!<

The tale of the long and dreary run back on the paved bike path does not deserve description. So, when the dry and painfully sober group arrived back at the beginning, nursing their shin-splints, the collective mood was not pretty. They decided to circle up by the shore of the pond, and sent the hare back to his car to get some beer. The circle was formed. Ratings for the run were saved from a record low only by the initial swamp, and virgin territory. Nonetheless, the weather, the lack of shiggy, the out-and-back trail, and the beer shortage were inarguable. Total -6.9! Hashit to Bondo, for incessant whining. The On On On was at the Newport Deck in Pawtucket, where the group mellowed somewhat, and were given a private room as the vocal effects of this mellowing became apparent. [Note to Basket: There is no need to ask why there aren’t many second-timers when you insist on 15 choruses of  “For we’re all queer together…” every time someone new shows up.] Another early ending for the RIH3, another wasted evening, for all except the wives at home who certainly know how to fill their Monday evenings by now!

On On