The Faery Virgin Run

Run #980, Jan 17, 2005

Hare:  Dry Foot Fairy

Location:  Providence at East Side Marketplace.

Weather:  low teens, clear.

Present:  Basket Boom Boom, Fuwangi Boner, Bondo Jovi, Async, Dr WHO, WIPOS, Oozing SD, SESYB, Ben, Seamus.  Visitors: Jizz-Mopper, Hare Club for Queers. (Boston H3).
Not Present (week2):  Just Ariana.

The Run:

It was another cold one but, being a virgin effort at haring, the turnout was good with all the regulars present or accounted for. Two visitors from Boston even made the effort to show up (late), figuring it was their only chance to run with RI without getting their designer athletic tights and $150 running shoes covered with RI shiggy. But the hare was unable to convince Pecker Checker that she owed him enough to attend, and his other prospect, Just Michelle, doesn’t go outside if the temperature is below 55. Just Ariana? Forget it! Promptly at 6:30, they were off, heading out behind the Eastside Marketplace.

The start was promising. The hare had recycled part of the Halloween Run, and trail led into the woods and to the old railroad bridge. Marks were colored flour on the snow, and were carefully chosen to take advantage of Basket’s color blindness. They proceeded southwest along the shoreline of the Seekonk River. A check was encountered near a mound of garbage. This was fine but unfortunately, no other marks were found. Finally, presuming trail would re-enter the city at some point, Fuwangi and Bondo(!) found trail across the playgrounds heading west and uphill.

It was at this point that some fast runners appeared whose paths kept crossing the trail. They were not yelling. They were dressed in athletic attire appropriate to the weather. They did not smell (too) bad. But regardless, it turned out that they were actually hashers. Jizzmopper and Hare Club for Queers from Boston had joined in the fun. They quickly caught up with Fuwangi in the lead as the trail led north on Governor St, and then turned back east. The marks were now on telephone poles, checks were three dots, and occasionally, the marks were accompanied by arrows on the poles, in faint blue chalk. This guaranteed problems for the sight-impaired RIH3-ers.

As such, this allowed Dr WHO, off trail entirely and heading towards Blackstone Boulevard on Elton Street, to gain the lead when he found a check on the Boulevard at Irving. But he headed towards Blackstone Park, and floundered around trying to find marks. He gave up about ten yards before he would have found one. The rest were on trail north on the running path in the center of the Boulevard. Basket was heading off on his own, convinced he knew what was in the hare’s mind. The rest were sure that there had never been anything in the hare’s mind whatsoever. They followed trail until it turned east towards the river, and came downhill on Gulf Ave. Async, Fuwangi and the visitors continued down to the gay parking area on Riverside, while WHO and SESYB continued on trail along the ridge in the woods of Blackstone Park.

Trail led south, crossing Irving Ave and descending down to the sewage overflow culvert under Lincoln School. Trail was somewhat confused here, but it was clear that the hare had elected to use the bridge as the water level was somewhat higher than usual. Ascending again on the other side, trail was lost. But continuing down to Angell Street, it was recovered, going around Blackstone Pond. Bondo followed around the pond, unable to resist his primal urge to circumambulate ponds. The hare encouraged the rest to follow, But the Jizzmopper and Fuwangi were already at the beer, so most followed WHO and bushwhacked straight to the BC on the hill 30 yds in from South Angell in a rhododendron grove.

The beer was opened and they sat around, talking and singing a few songs. Basket was missing. It was idyllic. Some missed Seamus, but it was a small price to pay. Once the beer was finished, they resumed trail, following the hares directions. They came out of the woods on South Angell, and turned west on Angell to the hare’s apartment building behind the Starbucks on Elmgrove. The hare directed the group to the laundry room in the basement. He and Async headed out to find the still missing Basket. Finally, they returned with an unrepentant Basket, full of tales of his skill and prowess. The circle was joined.

Ratings for the run were good: pavement and lack of shiggy were balanced by virgin hare, invisible marks, open sewage, decent beer, and loss of Basket. Total: 6.9! Hashit: now do you really have to ask? The visitors had no suitable excuse for their presence and were appropriately punished. Religion closed the circle and the group convoyed off to the East Ave Café in Pawtucket for the on on on. Basket didn’t get lost, this time.

On On